“Now let me get this straight. You're the youngest in the family?”
“Yeah. The three boys and then me. There's nine years between me and Luke. Mom really wanted a girl, so she made one last attempt. I'm a senior at NYU.”
“Your mom got her wish. That's nice. It seems like most people who try that always end up with another child of the same gender.”
Shelly took a sip of wine and seemed to ponder the glass when she set it back on the counter. “I don't know if my mom actually got her wish, but she can tell people she did and I think that's all she really cares about. My parents have a knack for getting whatever they want.”
I was busy wondering what Shelly meant by that first part when her dad waltzed into the room. No one seemed to be horribly scandalized by the fact that a second man had made his way into the kitchen. That was reassuring. I hadn't completely stepped into a 1950s time warp. “Can you give me the lay of the land with your family?” I asked it out of the corner of my mouth. The last thing I needed was for Amy to hear me.
“There's not much to tell. Everyone is normal and boring. Even worse, they're all happy being that way. Frankly, it makes me sick. That's why I end up hanging in the corner. I can't sit through one more conversation with Aunt Jan about Howie D and her precious little personality.”
“Interesting. So Howie D is a girl.”
Shelly cocked an eyebrow. “You name your dogs after boy bands, you're going to have to bend some gender rules or deal with a lot of doggie testosterone.”
“There has to be some family dirt.” I leaned back in my seat and surveyed the group of women. Almost everyone had the same hairstyle—a longish bob with highlights. “Somebody has to be on their second or third marriage or sleeping with someone they shouldn't be.”
“It would sure make family gatherings more interesting, but I come from a long line of monogamists.”
And I came from a long line of people who seem to take liberties with that.I knew for a fact that my Aunt Lucy had cheated on every one of her husbands with the guy who eventually became the new Mr. Aunt Lucy. “Interesting. Is your family Catholic?” I was always looking for a reason why people were able to stay with the same person without any bumps in the road, although that was a bit silly. Amy or I had never cheated on a boyfriend. We'd managed to keep things together. Neither of us had gotten married though. That was the next big test.
“Nope. It's just the way it's played out. Everyone seems adept at finding their soulmate. My parents have been married for thirty-six years and they're showing no sign of stopping.” Shelly and I looked at them, and nearly on cue, her dad patted her mom's ass, and she feigned disapproval, swatting him on the arm and telling him he was terrible. Everyone who witnessed the exchange found it hilarious.That Cindy and Tom. What a couple of rabble-rousers.
“What about you? You find your soulmate yet?”
Shelly was immediately fighting a smile. “Maybe. We'll see. We've only been together for about a month.”
“Well? Who is he?” Hot guy from one of her classes? Better yet, super hot older professor?
Shelly scanned my face like she was looking for something. “Promise you'll keep this to yourself? You can't even tell your sister.”
“Yeah. Of course. I'm very good at keeping secrets.” If only Shelly knew the lengths to which I would go to hide some things.
“Not a he. She. And my family doesn't know.” Every family has a secret somewhere. It was a fact of life. And just like the secrets in my family, I sensed that this was causing pain. Shelly was a very relatable jumble of happy and sad. “You asked for the family dirt. I guess that's me.”
I shook my head. “No way. You’re awesome. Secrets and dirt are not the same thing, anyway.” I scanned my brain for some nugget of wisdom. I'd been through my fair share of relationships. Surely all of that life experience, a million mistakes made, could benefit someone. “You know, it's okay to enjoy a relationship without it being under the microscope of family. Especially at the beginning when everything is so new and perfect and you know that feeling will go away at some point. When things settle in.”
“That makes so much sense.”
Sure, I was echoing my exact attitude about Eamon and why I'd never told Amy about him. “I think it's best to worry about what's between you and your new love and worry about your family later. You're so young. You're just starting to know your own heart. You don't have to figure it all out now.”
“Thank you for saying that. Before you came over, I was sitting here stewing in my own juices, wishing I could find a way to tell my parents.”
“It's probably more than wanting to just tell them, huh? You want them to accept you. That's the big fear, right?”
“As much as my family makes me nuts, I do want their unconditional love.”
“I’ve only known your parents for a short while, but everyone seems lovely and full of affection for each other.”
“As long as you don't rock the boat.” She jabbed the kitchen counter for effect. “It's okay. I'm not ready to talk about my girlfriend yet anyway. There's something about it that makes me want to keep it to myself. The minute I start bringing anyone else into it, it could be ruined very easily.”
“Makes sense.” Perfect sense, actually.
“Does it? Or am I making excuses because I don't want to deal with it? I can't decide which one it is.”
“It's normal to worry about what your family will think. I did something similar once. I fell in love and didn't tell anyone. Not even Amy.” I never told Eamon I loved him, either, at least not in person. That letter I sent him a year after I got back from Ireland contained the confession, but he'd never read it. He still didn't know, but what was I supposed to say now?I loved you eleven years ago and I could probably love you again, but I'm afraid it won't last. I nearly died the first time it ended.
“Was it a long time ago?”
