An even darker pall crept over the scene. I never should've brought her up. That had been stupid of me. “She passed away when we were kids.”
“I’m so sorry.” Maggie's voice had taken on a somber and heavy tone.
“Thank you.” Amy now seemed more annoyed than anxious. “Let's pick something out.”
Amy and I were both quiet as church mice as we looked at page after page of bouquets. I chimed in when she asked for my opinion, which wasn't often. There were just a lot of silent headshakes or hums of “maybe” and the occasional hesitant nod. By the time Amy had reached the end of the book, she hadn't found anything she liked.
“Maybe we could look at some actual flowers,” I suggested. “Come up with some ideas?”
Just then, another customer came in. “Sure thing,” Maggie said. “Everything is in the back room in floral buckets. Feel free to go into the cooler, too. I'll be back after I'm done helping this customer.”
Amy and I traced down a narrow hall lined with shelves of clear glass ginger jar vases standing like soldiers.
“Now this is more like it,” I said when we arrived in the back room. I zeroed in on some beautiful dark purple calla lilies.
“So now you're going to say something?”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“I asked your opinion and you hardly said anything.”
“I was letting you take the lead. Was I not supposed to do that?”
“I need your help, Katherine.”
“Do you? Really? Because I felt like our entire conversation at the diner was about younotneeding my help. And then we go to Vera Wang and it was pretty clear you don't think you can count on me to get the necklace. I don't need you to humor me. If you don't want me involved, just tell me.”
Amy sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. “Do you know what I want?”
“I don't, Ames. I really don’t.”
“I want to be a normal bride, arguing with her mom about who should get invited and whether we should have chicken or fish. Instead, I get Luke's mom, who just wants to take everything out of my hands, like I have horrible taste or am completely clueless about what a wedding entails.”
Maggie appeared in the back room. “Everything okay?”
Amy looked petrified, which was saying a lot. She wasn't embarrassed by much. “Just a little sisterly squabble. I'm so sorry.”
“Oh, honey. I wasn't trying to listen, but what I overheard is nothing but perfectly run of the mill. This room has seen brides throw fistfuls of carnations. I'll leave you two to it. Just come and fetch me when we need to talk flowers.” With that, Maggie retreated back to the front of the store.
“I’m sorry, Ames. I'm sorry Mom's not here to help you. If I could make her appear, I would. If I could conjure her out of thin air, I would.” The underlying current of this was that I was the reason she wasn't there. I had been the cause.
“But you can't. Neither of us can.” Right there, in a few short words, was the essence of the pain Amy and I fought on a daily basis.
“Look. I want to do whatever you want me to do. If you want me to argue with you about the menu, I totally will. If you want me to tell Luke's mom to back off, I will. Whatever you want, I'll do it.”
Amy nodded slowly, scanning my face. “I think more than anything, I just need you to be my rock. Like you always are. Like you always were. I don't think I know how to function without you being there for me.”
Tears clouded my vision of my sister. “I will always be there for you. Always. Happy or sad, you and I can get through anything, right?”
Her head bobbed up and down, and now she was crying, too. “Yep.”
“We can do whatever you want to do today and we can set aside whatever you don't feel like doing. This is your wedding. We don't have to accomplish everything today. We'll have some time after Thanksgiving.”
Amy went in for a hug, resting her head on my shoulder. “Thank you. I know I'm pathetic right now.”
“You're getting married. You're supposed to be pathetic.”
“I thought I was supposed to be on top of the world.”
