“What happened after you got married? You must've been happy for at least a little while.”
“The second record blew up and I went on the road. I wasn't there when Fiona was born. And I wasn't there when Rachel's mam passed. She was understandably pissed when I came home from tour. She had a six week-old and was trying to mourn. It was terrible. I tried to be a help, but it was like a wall had gone up between us. Turns out there was another fella in the picture at that point. Can't blame her. She'd gotten nothing but a ring and a house out of me.”
“Is that the man she's married to now?”
Eamon nodded. “Yeah. She's very happy. There's a lot to be said for listening to your heart. I should've done it a long time ago.” The saddest smile I'd ever seen rolled across his face. He reached for my hand and pulled it flat against his bare chest. His warmth, the fine hair, the thump of his heart—it all put a tiny mark on me. “I’m pissed at myself for waiting for you to come back into my life. It was stupid. I should've gone after you the minute my marriage was over.”
“Maybe that's the way it was supposed to happen. And I wasn't in the best place either. I was struggling to find the right job. My dad was drinking too much. Amy was finishing law school and was a miserable pain in my butt.”
“I could've been there for you. We could've been there for each other.”
“But you were touring like a madman, weren't you? I wouldn't have wanted to deal with that. That would've been too hard. Saying goodbye all the time.”
“I hate goodbye.”
“I do, too.”
“Let's never say goodbye again. I know you don't want to talk about marriage, but could you promise me that much?”
Good God the man had a way of putting me in a corner, but it wasn't difficult to answer. “I promise, Eamon. I promise.”
After all, it was the last thing I ever wanted to say to anyone.
Chapter Fourteen
The processof folding my world into Eamon's, and vice versa, had officially begun. A few days after I met Fiona and Rachel, Eamon and I went over to Luke and Amy's place in Brooklyn for dinner.
“I’m so excited you're here,” Amy exclaimed as soon as she flung open the door. Her face was lit up like a Christmas tree. Who knew she was going to be so thrilled about our arrival? Of course, she went in for a hug from Eamon before she got one from me. It was hard to blame her.
“Thanks for the invitation. You must be Luke. I've heard a lot about you,” Eamon held out his hand.
“Oh, man. It is so great to meet you. I'm a big fan,” Luke said.
Eamon glanced over at me and smiled. This was uncomfortable for him. As much as he was forced to be in the spotlight, he didn't like it. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Come on in. I just bought a new turntable. Maybe you can tell me what you think.” Luke led Eamon into the other room, leaving Amy and me by ourselves.
“Help me in the kitchen?” Amy asked. “I’m still working on dinner.”
I took off my coat and hung it on the rack next to the front door. The air was perfumed with wine and the homey fragrance of something that had been cooking all day long. “It smells amazing in here. I hope you didn't go to much trouble.”
Amy and Luke's kitchen was small, typical for New York, except it was completely updated—stainless steel appliances and stone countertops and basically perfect, nothing like my set-up in the city. “JustBeef Bourguignon.” Amy lifted the lid off a Le Creuset French Dutch oven, in amethyst purple, one of the newer colors. NACI and I worked on the account. “I hope it tastes half as good as it smells.” She replaced the lid and poured us each a glass of red wine. “Cheers. Here's to handsome men who like us.”
I clinked my glass with hers. “Fingers crossed it stays that way.” I took a long sip, thinkingso far, so good.
“How are things with Eamon?” Amy whispered, leaning back against the counter.
“It's a little weird getting used to having someone in my space who isn't their own autonomous human being.”
Amy laughed. “I’m not exactly sure what that means.”
I took a glance down the hall to make sure Eamon and Luke weren't within earshot. “It's just that I have to think about him in addition to me. What we're going to eat for dinner. What we're going to do on the weekend. Stuff like that. I never had to bother with that with you.”
“That's what you get with a roommate who you are also fucking.”
My face went white hot. How Amy still managed to embarrass me was a mystery, but she did. “True.”
“And that's commitment. Living together. Becoming a part of each other's lives.”
