“You kept the ring?” That surely wasn’t the answer he’d hoped for, but she was still piecing this all together.
“I didn’t know what else to do with it. Taking it back to the store would’ve felt like admitting defeat.”
All she could think about was that ring in his closet for an entire year, with him knowing it was there, and her not having a clue. These facts represented the divide between them, the ground they still needed to cover as a couple. Every day they were making baby steps together. But they weren’t there. Not yet.
Brooklyn couldn’t look down at him anymore. She needed them on an even footing. So she dropped to her knees, if only to look him straight in the eye. “I don’t think this is the right move for us right now. Chances are that I’m not pregnant. I mean, I’m right at the end of my fertility window.”
“Fertility window?”
“I’ve been keeping track of my basal temperature every morning. Just keeping a chart that my doctor can work from.”
“Oh.” He sounded immensely disappointed. “But what if you are? I will obviously take responsibility.”
“I know you will. I’m not worried about that.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I want to do this when you’re sure. Not because you’re backed into a corner.”
“I just told you a minute ago. I don’t care about timing. Sometimes things happen and we have to roll with them.”
“And you’re the king of timing. You’re always waiting for things to align.”
“Will you just tell me what you want, Brooklyn? Because I don’t have a freaking clue anymore.”
“I want you to come to terms with your feelings about fatherhood. That will pave our way as a couple.”
“What if I told you right now that I changed my mind. I’m in. All the way.”
“I know you. I know you don’t mean that.” She sat back on her knees and sighed. “I need you to reach that point without the pressure of a situation that might not exist. I especially don’t need you to say all of those things to me five minutes after a condom breaks. I need you to go into this with an open heart and clear mind and all of that. Does that make any sense?”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “It does.”
She reached for his hand. “You know I grew up without my dad. But did I ever tell you why he left?”
“No. You didn’t.”
“He told my mom that he felt trapped. He’d told her that he wanted kids, just so she would marry him. But then I came along and he looked at me and felt like he couldn’t breathe. My sister came along after that, and it was too much for him.” Brooklyn’s voice wobbled, just thinking about the pain both her mom and dad must have gone through. It wasn’t her fault. But it wasn’t necessarily his, either. At least he’d been honest. Not everyone was meant to be a parent, right? “I don’t want you to look at fatherhood that way. I know you take the choice very seriously. And I want you to put just as much thought into that as you put into pursuing this job opportunity.”
“So now what?”
“We go to bed because I’m exhausted.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know. I was trying to lighten the mood.”
He got up from the floor and reached down for her hand to help her to standing. “It’s okay. I think I already knew what you were going to say.”
“Okay. Tell me.”
He tenderly pulled a strand of hair away from her face. “We wait to see what happens with my contract. We wait to see whether you’re pregnant. We get through Thanksgiving, apart. You here in the city with your family and me down in Florida with mine. Then we go from there.”
“Believe me, I hate waiting. But that’s pretty much the lay of the land from where I’m sitting.”
He looked down at the Tiffany box, which was still in his hand. He snapped it shut.
“Can I see the ring again?” she asked.
