“You did help me. You taught me a very big lesson. That this is a great big world, full of possibilities, and although I’mnot a bold and adventurous person, it was good to do a few things outside my comfort zone. I feel like I found more of myvoice. I feel more whole than I did when I got here.”I love you.It was on the tip of her tongue, but it refused to budge. She couldn’t say it. They’d only had a few weeks together. Andultimately the thought of a long-lasting love with Emilio was improbable. Her heart could only take so much falling.
“Do you want to come to the Canadian Grand Prix? I could fly you up there.”
Her instinct was to say yes. Absolutely. Of course. But that would only bring another goodbye, when she was already growingto hate the steady tick of the clock on the wall as it took away her time with him and Gus. “Can I think about it? After everythingin Monaco, maybe it’s better it we keep things quiet. For both our sakes.”
How many more hints could he drop that he didn’t want this to be the end? Damn this Vermillion news. He really had been preparedto pack up his suitcase, fly to Florida with her and show Kyle how badly he’d fucked up by ever hurting Piper. Maybe thatwas just his inner macho asshole speaking, but it was the way he felt.
Not that the Vermillion situation was the sole deciding factor. Piper had said she wanted to do the wedding on her own. Standon her own two feet. And he had to admire her fierce independence in the face of a difficult thing.
Then he’d invited her to Canada, and that was a maybe. He wasn’t sure what her hesitation was, but his gut said to followher lead. She’d been sucked into his life from the moment she got on the plane to come to London, and it had been a whirlwindsince then—rabid fans and his parents and the difficulty of being a public person who had to gauge what to say or where togo or what to do. It wasn’t a great way to live, being under the microscope. The trouble was that it was the only way Emilioknew how to live. And Piper? It was clear she hated it.
Maybe he needed to simply let her go. Let her see her family and get over the hurdle of the wedding she’d been dreading. Seeif she wanted to come back or find a way to make it work. Because the truth was the Canadian Grand Prix wouldn’t be enough.It was slapping a bandage on a gaping wound.
“You’re leaving and I feel like we aren’t having a proper goodbye,” he said, doing his best to steel his voice. “All becauseof the Vermillion thing. Why is the timing so terrible?”
She nodded, taking the clothes he’d folded for her and placing them into the suitcase. “It’s okay. Long goodbyes are justpainful. Plus, we had a wonderful goodbye last night. I barely got any sleep.”
“It was incredible.” It truly was, although it had been difficult for Emilio to focus. He was so preoccupied with findinga way to invite himself to the wedding. He was happy he hadn’t broached the subject last night. It might have ruined theirentire evening. “By the way, I just paid the invoice from Fido & Friends. And I wired your bonus to your bank account. Sothe financial side of our relationship has been taken care of.” The reminder that this had all started as a job and turnedinto so much more was disheartening, but he decided to look on the bright side. At least it had happened.
“Thank you.”
“You aren’t going to go back to working for Fido & Friends, are you? It just seems like you could do so much more. Work outa deal with Nom Nom. Or be a full-time dog nanny closer to home.” The thought of her nannying for anyone else made him sick.And as for him and Gus? He would call the company Harmony had recommended, but there was little appeal in a task guaranteedto fail. No one would be as perfect for Gus and him as Piper was.
“I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a dog nanny.” She glanced over at Gus, then walked up to him and crouched down and kissedhis nose. “I’m too attached to this guy. I think I’m more of a dog walker. Maybe I’ll pursue the treat thing. I haven’t quitefigured it out.”
He swallowed back the tears that wanted to flood his eyes. He really needed to get better about expressing his emotions. Maybeit was time to have that chat with his dad. “I’m sure whatever you choose to do will be amazing. And great. And if you needanything at all, I want you to call me.”
“I’ll text you. See if there’s a time you can talk. You’re busy. You have a lot going on.”
His mind kicked into overdrive, imagining his future—the one where they were two separate people, walking the earth, completelymeant for each other if not for a few disparate and random life factors keeping them apart. He wrapped her in his arms, doinghis best to ward off the tears. Again. He loved her. He loved her and he couldn’t say it. It would be emotional blackmail.She would feel obligated. He wanted her to feel free to choose the life she wanted. “I want you to remember you can do anythingand everything you want. Everything you need is already inside you.”
She laughed quietly, then he felt her tears on his shoulder. “That sounds like something on one of those motivational posters.The ones they hang in office buildings.”
He squeezed her tighter, not wanting to let her go. “It’s not. Someone truly brilliant and pure of heart told me that. Andit helped me through a difficult time.”
Piper got incredibly quiet, but he could feel her trembling in his arms. She had to go, and he had to let her. Even thoughit was the worst thing that could ever happen.
Gus
Being sad is the worst. It just doesn’t work with my personality. I hate it.
I hardly eat. I mean, I do, because I don’t want food to go to waste, but I don’t enjoy it like I used to. I sleep too much.Although I’ve always slept a lot. Some might say I sleep like it’s my job. But my dreams are the only place where I can seePiper. I miss her so much it hurts. I sleep on the floor in the doorway of her room. Hoping she will come back.
Emilio told me he can’t take it. He said it’s too hard when we’re both sad. That really stuck with me. He was sad before Pipercame and he’s sad now that she left. And I realize now it might not be all about my happiness. I’m happy when he’s happy.I want us all to be together. A family.
I don’t know if that can happen. I don’t know how to help. All I do is hope for the day when I smell homemade dog treats beingbaked in the kitchen. Then I’ll know Emilio and I don’t have to be miserable anymore.
I’m waiting. Waiting.
Eighteen
Emilio was close to the finish line. After two solid days of talking about Vermillion with every sports, motorsports and Britishpublication and news outlet imaginable, he only had one interview left. And he couldn’t wait to knock it out.
“All that’s left is Claudia Simon tomorrow,” Isabel said as they wrapped up the day in the PR office at Mega Headquarters.“You’re more than prepared. I’ve listened to everything you’ve said in your other interviews and I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Thank you. For everything.” Emilio was exhausted, mentally and physically. He was still recovering from Monaco and of course,he might never fully get over that goodbye with Piper. The way she’d cried had torn his heart right in two. And when she wasgone, he’d given in to it, too. He’d curled into a ball that night and let the tears out. The worst of it was Gus’s reaction.He had never seen a dog be so sad. He was really starting to worry.
“Xander’s here, by the way,” Isabel said. “He’s been on the sim. He wants to say hello.”
