Once she lets me in, she sits in the seat at the little desk, while I take the love seat.
“Okay, what’s going on?”
I don’t plan to tell her that Rawley and I are fake, but that’s not as critical as some other pieces to the story.
“So, you know my rule against dating athletes?”
She nods, and then opens a bottle of water. “Yeah, but you got over it, right? I mean, you’re dating Rawley.”
I tilt my head back and forth. “Kind of.”
She looks confused. “What does that mean?”
“It turns out a sorta-ex of his tracked him down in Orlando two weeks ago, and I don’t know, it dredged up some of my old feelings.”
A light flashes in her eyes. “Okay, I get that.” When I don’t say more, she fills the space. “Did you talk to Rawley about it?”
“Kind of. Not really. Does telling him you want to end things count?”
Her eyes go wide. “Avery. Hello, talk about burying the lead.”
“I know. And the thing is, I don’t think he did anything wrong. He turned down a chance to hang out with her, I guess? He was telling her to leave when I pulled up and saw them together.”
She shakes her head, back to confused. “Okay, so there you go?”
I pause, chewing on my lip.
“You don’t get worried about Malcolm? This is kind of shitty to ask, now that I think about it…” As good of friends as we are, it’s not cool to bring up the potential of her boyfriend cheating on her.
She doesn’t seem thrown off though. “Oh, it’s fine. No, I mean webothhave lots of outside ‘interest’ from people.” She uses finger quotes for emphasis. “But when you have something that feels special, feels right, and you’re on the same page about commitment, you don’t let anything—or anyone—mess with it.”
I nod.
“Do you trust Rawley? That’s where it starts, obviously.”
“I do. He’s actually never been a player. It’s not what he’s into. Sleeping around, I mean.”
“Yeah, not all guys are, you know? And I’ve never heard anything about Rawley on that front either.”
I don’t want to tell her everything he’s shared, but that lines up with what I know from him. “He’s definitely more of a one-woman type of person.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
I sigh. “It’s me. I’m the problem.” The first time I’ve truly admitted it.
She squints her eyes at that declaration. “I have my own thoughts, if you want them. But let me askyou, why do you think that?”
“I…It’s like I’ve been stuck in the past. Not open to anything real or serious, to protect myself from getting hurt.”
“Hurt like you were in high school.” Her tone is softer.
“Yes. But it’s not rational, not with Rawley, not in general even. Because…” My voice fades.
“Because a guy will cheat if he sucks as a human, not because he’s an athlete?” Sarah offers.
Nailed it. “Yup.”
“Honestly, Aves, what’s bugging me as your friend is that you’re giving up a chance with someone you might want to be with just because he plays sports.”
