Chapter Fifteen
Where are you? I neeeeeeed you!Lisa fired off the text as soon as she had managed to pull over two roads from Wild, Wet and Windy. She hoped calling on Felicity for advice didn’t fall into the category of pushing her friendship too far, too soon, but she was still in a fluster after seeing Nathan again and needed to speak to Felicity. She had been there throughouttheir relationship as teenagers, from the weak at the knees sightings at school – or, more shockingly, out of school – the stomach-knotting waiting for phone calls, dizzy first dates and the lost-in-love-head-over-heels phase, to the prom where it had all come to its final and regrettably so-very-public conclusion. Lisa had to speak to Felicity or she might burst, especially as she had agreedto go out for a drink with Nathan and had no idea what that might mean.
Jiggle and Sing in the church hall, here ’til half eleven; hope all’s OK. Come and meet Fred.
Lisa read the message twice, she didn’t like the sound of ‘Jiggle and Sing’, but then again it was in the church hall, a place known for over-70s aerobics, the West Sussex watercolour group and town Christmas bazaar.How intimidating could it be?
OK, see you there.
Half an hour later, Lisa was pulling her van into the car park amongst cars ranging from people carriers to a white mini convertible; all of which contained car seats and three of which had very hectic-looking sticker families on their rear windows. Pushing away the thought of the lone stick-lady sticker she could have on her ownback window, Lisa went to find her way in.
She could hear singing beyond the double doors and decided mid ‘Five Little Speckled Frogs’ might be a good time to slip in unnoticed. Had she known that, as she opened the doors, eleven women, one man and fifteen children – a mixture of babies and toddlers – would abruptly stop singing and turn to face her from their circle of chairs, she probablywould have waited. As it was, her cheeks turned crimson for the second time that day. She introduced herself to the entire group and scurried across the hall towards Flick who was waving to get her attention and laughing at the same time. As ‘Five Little Speckled Frogs’ began again, Lisa watched Felicity singing along in unison with the other adults, each with their little ones on their lapsor leaning against them.
With his messy, blond hair, blue eyes and freckles, Fred looked a cutie. While Lisa thought he must have got the strongest of his features from his dad, she could see Felicity in him too. He was a little person, created and loved by her once-best friend and yet she had never met him before. Ignoring the song Lisa leaned across and stroked the dimples on the backof his hand. ‘Hello, I’m Lisa.’ She smiled.
Fred turned his head in towards Felicity’s arm and hid himself.
‘He’s a bit shy of new people,’ Flick explained mid-song.
Lisa sat back. It was funny to think of herself as a new person in connection to anything to do with Flick’s life. But it was true, she was a new person to Fred, and this whole world of babies and groups ofpeople coming together and singing nursery rhymes in the middle of the week was new to her. She didn’t belong. She looked across the circle at a woman who was heavily pregnant.What was I thinking?Realising a baby group was the last place she should be, Lisa decided she should just go and catch up with Felicity later. She felt foolish for flustering over Nathan Baker; she wasn’t a teenager anymore! There were bigger issues in life than Nathan Baker and his unnerving good looks. About to make her excuses and leave Lisa was stopped by the lady next to her.
‘We’ll be stopping in a mo, but I’m bursting. You wouldn’t hold her while I pop to the loo, would you? Fred’s not up for sharing Flick today,’ she whispered over the sound of ‘Polly Put the Kettle On’.
Lisa looked atthe sleeping baby girl, a slight sense of panic growing in her chest. But before she could say anything, the soft, pink bundle was passed over. Her little, warm head, with a downy covering of dark hair, was placed into the crook of Lisa’s arm. She could see the baby’s eyes wiggle under her closed eyelids and her mouth move almost into a ‘coo’ shape as the outline of her lips whitened. She was gorgeousand smelt perfect. With a reassuring check that her baby was OK and a double check with Flick that she would keep an eye on her, the baby’s mum disappeared off to the toilet.
Lisa sat mesmerised by the baby, and paralysed with fear that she might do something wrong and wake her. More than anything she had to focus on holding back the tears; she could not cry, if she started crying holdingthe precious little girl, she might not stop, and if she thought too hard about how right she felt in her arms, she might never let her go.
Flick smiled reassuringly, unaware of Lisa’s inner turmoil. With the singing drawing to a close, the group leader asked if there were any birthday boys or girls in the room. Fred, still with his head slightly buried, raised his hand. Felicity smiledand confirmed Fred’s birthday was approaching. It was a welcome distraction. Lisa knew she had to be seen to be singing along to this one, smiling and joining in, belying her true feelings. Felicity was smiling proudly and Fred was daring a little peek out from behind his mummy’s arm.
As the baby’s mum finally returned from the toilet, looking much relieved, she thanked Lisa and took herlittle girl back. Lisa’s arms felt cold and bereft of her weight in them. Everyone clapped to mark the end of Fred’s birthday song, and the leader announced it was time for drinks and biscuits. Lisa guessed she didn’t mean of the alcoholic variety and thought she might have a strong coffee. Fred clambered down from Felicity’s lap and headed for the bags of toys that were being put out. Excitedlyhe rummaged through, displacing many a random pre-loved toy on his mission.
‘He’s looking for Thomas. It’s a favourite,’ Flick stated, before turning her attention more fully to Lisa. ‘So what brings you here neeeeeeeding me?’ she mocked.
Lisa felt silly. It all felt insignificant after holding the baby and completely out of place at Jiggle and Sing. ‘Oh nothing, it was just about… a man.’
The lady with the baby who had retaken her place next to Lisa leaned in. ‘Oh please tell us; living vicariously is all we can do these days.’ She laughed, before realising she had completely butted in on the conversation. ‘Oh and I’m Melissa, by the way, married for fourteen months, mother to Bella here, she’s nocturnal,’ she added as if this explained everything.
Unsurehow to respond, Lisa smiled and looked at Flick.
‘How about I get the coffees and you can tell us all about it.’ Flick grinned.
‘I’ll help.’ Lisa stood, not sure she wanted to be left alone with Melissa and Bella. If the conversation turned to baby talk she didn’t know what she would say.
As they stood in the queue at the serving counter, awaiting the hot drinks being madeby the group leader, who wore all the hats, Fred came speedily past, trailing a pull-along Thomas the Tank Engine behind him. His hand was up at the counter and into the biscuit tub before anyone could question his queue jumping. Sauntering back past all those who had been foolish enough to wait their turn, he gave a smug little grin and bit into his chocolate digestive. At almost two, he clearlyhad this baby-group business sussed.
‘Melissa’s great – sit down with your biscuit, Fred – we met in the supermarket, when I found her staring at the frozen peas.’
‘What?’ Lisa wondered if she had misheard.
‘It’s a new-mum thing,’ Flick explained.
‘Staring at frozen peas?’
‘No, forgetting what the hell you were actually doing.’ Flick laughed. ‘Anyway, Itook her to the café for a drink. We’ve been friends since. She’s a teacher, hubby’s a rugby player, fit as—’
‘Lucky her, so why the vicarious living?’
‘Bella’s nocturnal.’
