Fai
The moment Sarah gave methatlook, I knew whatever she had to say wasn’t good. She was shaking in her boots when Gabriel and I had walked through the door after our hike.
I nodded to her, indicating that I understood and explained to Gabriel I was going to take a shower. It was a plausible excuse. I stunk after hours of hiking and sweating.
“I think I’ll hop in the shower too.” He walked towards the stairs that led to his room and bathroom. “Want to grill tonight? I have some steaks I’ve been meaning to cook up before they go bad.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I forced a smile, the kind that said ‘everything’s fine’ while screaming the opposite to anyone who really knew me. But he didn’t know me well enough to see through it. Not yet.
He smiled back, taking the stairs two at a time. When I heard the door open and close, my face dropped and I walked into mine and Sarah’s room. She followed closely behind me, easing the door shut with a soft click behind us.
I turned to her in a mix of confusion and worry. “What the fuck is going on? Are you okay?”
She sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. “It’s been quite the morning, and we need to talk about what I learned.”
I sat in the chair, peeling off my sweaty socks and tossing them into my suitcase that was acting as my laundry basket. “You mean your newfound interest in Mormonism?”
She rolled her eyes. “We both know that was my horrendous version of a cover-up. Though, do you know why one would put money in one of their books? Don’t the Mormons pay money to their church leaders?”
I looked at her, completely at a loss.
She caught my expression, her lips pulling up into a small, apologetic smile. “Sorry, not important.”
I shook my head, but a smile peeked through at her ramblings. I peeled off my hoodie, pulling it over my head, and throwing it in with my socks. I went to empty my jean pockets, but my fingers found the sobriety chip and the ring, as they always did.
I left them where they were. The chip wasn't something I wanted to get into with Sarah right now, and the ring even less so. She didn't need to see another chip, and she certainly didn't need to know I still carried my wedding ring. Not with a boyfriend in the picture. Though if I was being honest with myself, I wasn't entirely sure why I still had it either. I just couldn't seem to let go of the gold band.
“I was having a rather boring morning, so I thought I would look around,” Sarah continued, bringing my focus back.
“You mean you were snooping?” I asked with a raised brow.
She waved me off. “Semantics. I was looking around—”
“Snooping,” I interrupted, correcting her.
She shot me a glare and I held my hands up in surrender before motioning her to continue.
“Fine. I was snooping, but I wasn’t looking for anything in particular. I was just curious to know Gabriel better,” she explained.
I was grateful she was finally admitting to snooping, but I didn’t like the implications.
“You could just ask him your questions.” I rubbed my hands down my face, contemplating if I could get in a nap before dinner. “He’s very willing to open up. You just need to ask. We talked a lot on the hike—” I tried to explain, but it was her turn to interrupt me.
“Yes, I know, and I usually would never condone snooping, but I found something interesting on his desk.” She explained excitedly, retelling her escapades.
I looked at her, shocked. “You went into his closed office and went through his desk?”
She weighed the question. “It wasn’t locked or anything and he never said we couldn’t go in there, and it wasn’tinhis desk. It was on it. It was this notebook. I think he uses it as a diary based on the dated entries. He was talking about you and writing to you, and this was a few months ago—”
“Wait.” I held a hand up, urging her to stop. “Let me get this straight. You went into his closed office, found a diary, opened it, and read it? Is that right?”
Sarah was one of the most well-rounded individuals I had ever met. She didn't do irrational things. This felt both irrational and invasive, and neither of those words fit her.
She seemed to register how it sounded, her eyes going wide. “No, it’s not like that at all. I wasn’t searching for anything. It really was by accident that I found what I did.”
I leaned back in the chair, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes. “Okay… moving on from the practical breaking and entering, why were you reading his journal?”
“Fai, it sounds much worse than it was,” she defended. I gave her an incredulous look and she rolled her eyes. “Will you just listen to me for a moment before you start arguing?”
