“Hey!” I protested. “I’m an injured man.”
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Your feet are, you idiot.”
I laughed. “Look, I’m not going to talk about Sarah and me until I talk to her about it. I don’t even know what’s going on between the two of us.”
“Well, figure it out,” she mused and stood, offering her hand. I took it, and she pulled me up. We started back the way we came, but this time she looped her arm through the crook of my elbow.
Our steps were slow and steady, and the tension between us felt lighter. It was still present—it always would be. Our friendship had been born in flames and left in the cold to wither;it would take a lifetime to fix. I was grateful just knowing we could fix it, especially since I’d thought she despised me this entire time.
Now, I saw her for the grieving, angry, terrified woman she had been. She hadn’t despised me, but she hadn’t been ready to forgive me, either. While I hadn’t seen it, she had been there for me in the only ways she could. The flash of blonde in my AA meetings? The awards she had nominated me for? It was her way of not giving up on me—not yet. I didn’t know how she ever could, but I would be grateful for the rest of my life that she was willing to give me another chance.
“Can I ask you something?”
She glanced at me curiously and nodded. “Shoot.”
“That award… you nominated me for it?”
Her cheeks pinkened. “Maybe…” She trailed off, her gaze falling to her feet for a moment. “You won, by the way.”
I stopped in surprise. “What?”
She took a deep breath and faced me. “You won. I got the letter while you were out. And the award—it’s in my office right now.”
I raised a knowing brow. “Were you planning on keeping it?”
She shrugged. “You throw away every award, anyway. It deserved to be displayed.”
“Why did you nominate me?”
“Because you deserved it.” Her answer was simple, and her tone left no room for argument. “You haven’t always been perfect, but you’re a good person who deserves good things. I nominated you because I wanted to prove that very fact to you.”
I had spent most of my life thinking I didn't deserve anything. I was undeserving of love, of care, of sacrifice. But I had been blind—so fucking blind—to all the love around me. It was the love I had once deserved, and that I was now working my ass off to deserve again.
