Sarah
There was something therapeutic about returning to work and back to my schedule. In the sixteen days since Gabriel had broken into my home, nothing had changed. Well… nothing with the investigation. We still didn’t know who he truly was or what his motivations were. They had dusted my house for fingerprints, but he wasn’t in any system they could access. They weren’t sure where he had gone after leaving my house, but he hadn’t been seen since—and I hadn’t been home.
My days were spent at Nate’s house: in the living room, watching movies and reading books by the fireplace; in the kitchen, watching Nate utterly fail at cooking while Scarlett laughed; or in that guest bed, wrapped in Fai’s arms, the only place that felt safe these days.
While nothing had changed with the investigation in the last sixteen days, everything had changed between me and Fai. While I wasn’t in my house, I was finally home. I was with him—the man I had fallen in love with all those years ago. The man I had watched wither away. He had found himself againand seemed stronger than I had imagined he could be, after everything.
In the midst of the chaos—with Gabriel’s attention focused on me—the fact that Fai had lost a brother was being forgotten. The grief that I knew was crushing him was pushed to the shadows as we focused on me. It wasn’t fair to him, but he acted as if he didn’t mind.
Maybe he didn’t. In the last few months, he had gained and lost a brother… but he also found his family again. His real family. The one that was based on more than simply the blood in our veins. The family that was chosen and, in Fai’s case, desperately fought for. It would take time for the hurt to fade, for his betrayals to stop stinging, but damn, was he putting in the work. He was facing Nate’s glares, Jackie’s questioning tone, and even my hesitation. He was facing it all head-on, without fear.
The scariest thing in the world was the unknown, and Fai finally knew what rock bottom was. He wasn’t scared of it anymore, but he was determined to never go back.
We had talked about what would happen if he were to relapse again. While neither of us wanted it to happen, his current sobriety didn’t make the alcoholism disappear. It would live in the recesses of his mind for the rest of time. Every day he had to choose to be sober, and it was possible that someday, he wouldn’t make that choice.
While neither of us could predict the future, we both agreed that no matter what happened between us, from this point on, we would only be honest. What is a relationship without trust? I couldn’t tell the future. But I did know that I was willing to fight for the future I wanted, and that future was Fai.
I smiled to myself as I leaned back in my chair. Even the thought of having a future with Fai again was enough to send butterflies through my veins. He was at his office today—Goldie practically dragging him in, as the next edition of the journal wasset to be published next week, and he had neglected it in recent weeks. It was also the first day I was at my temporary office without him.
Nate was my current chaperone as I took up an office at the local university. It helped that both Nate and Will were professors here; it was the most secure location we could find for me to do my work. The patients who were currently incarcerated could see temporary psychologists in the meantime, but my regular clients had been working with me for years. I could take a week or two off if needed, but I didn’t want to be away any longer than that.
I had just finished my second-to-last appointment for the day and was blissfully grateful for the short break I had between it and my final appointment. I was looking forward to meeting with Mark. He was one of my longest-standing patients and was a true image of recovery. While he did have multiple felonies on his record, we had spent nearly a decade rehabilitating him into society, and he had integrated fully. We only met once a month now, and I always looked forward to his stories of his husband and young daughter. They were truly a perfect family.
A quick knock sounded on the door, and Nate leaned his head in. “Your next client is here. Want me to send him in?”
I shook my head. “I have a couple of notes I need to wrap up first.” I glanced at the clock. Mark was five minutes early. He was usually five minutes late. “His husband must have their daughter today,” I muttered to myself.
“What?” Nate asked as he stepped fully in, closing the door behind him.
“Nothing,” I waved him off. “Just talking to myself.”
He sighed and sat in the seat across from me.
I raised a brow. “You know this isn’t an appointment for you? If I remember correctly, I’m not your psychologist anymore.”
He rolled his eyes. “I am acutely aware. I wanted to check on you while I had a minute. I haven’t gotten a moment alone with you, and I have a feeling Fai will be here the moment your next appointment is over.”
“I’m… I’m processing—adjusting,” I explained, filling out the last few lines of my report from the last appointment. “Once Gabriel is behind bars, I’ll be able to fully work through all that has happened. Until then, I may be in a state of limbo.”
Nate nodded slowly. “What about with Fai?”
I raised a brow in question. “What about Fai?”
Nate looked at me incredulously. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re dating your ex-husband, are you not? Is your ex-husband your boyfriend now?”
I laughed lightly. “You make it sound crazy.”
“It kind of is,” Nate mumbled.
I set aside my notebook and leaned forward, reaching across the divide between the couches and taking Nate’s hand in mine. “What are you worried about when it comes to Fai and me?”
“You being hurt again,” he answered immediately.
“He probably will hurt me…” Nate opened his mouth, probably to agree or question why I would be with Fai if I was planning on pain, but I continued to speak. “And I will hurt him. It’s the nature of humanity. No matter how hard we try, we’ll hurt those we love. Just as you’ll hurt your wife or your siblings. You won’t mean to, but someday, you’ll say something that causes pain.”
Nate rolled his eyes, breaking our hold and leaning back into the couch. “What makes it different this time? You and Fai were together for sixteen years and it still ended. It’s only been, what? A year and a half since you broke up? Almost a year since you divorced? How is it different this time?”
I smiled, understanding his apprehension was due to his care for me. “There’s a lot that’s different, but this time… this timeI’m not trying to fix him, and he’s not relying on me to hold him together.”
