Which is … a little frustrating for multiple reasons.
Mostly because my thoughts are all over the place. And doing the opposite of behaving.
I huff out a breath and head back to my office, closing the door behind me and leaning against it.
Okay. I just need to focus.
Work. That’s what I need to do. Work.
I move to my desk and pull up treatment notes. Hamstring tightness, shoulder strains, recovery timelines—everything normal, routine.
But I quickly realize that all I’m doing is glazing over the details. Nothing sticking.
My brain keeps circling back to my sister and Liam. The way they look at each other. The way they seem so confident and secure in their relationship.
And then … Saint slips into my mind. Because of course he does.
My stupid decision last night.
Daredevil.
I close my eyes briefly. We said we’d only watch one episode, even though we both knew we wouldn’t stop at one.
But last night felt … different.
We sat a little too close, and everything felt more charged than usual. It was in the way the air seemed to shift when he moved closer to me on the couch. And the way my pulse jumped every time his arm brushed mine, or his hand rested against my leg.
They way neither of us said anything about it because I think we both knew if we did, it would tip everything over the edge.
And good God, I can’t deny the way I wanted him to touch me.
I exhale slowly, pressing my fingers into the edge of my desk, trying to justify my feelings because of all the excitement today with my sister’s engagement.
But also the reminder of what it looks like when something is real. When it’s something … more.
Except, it didn’t explain everything. Like this burning I feel inside.
It didn’t explain why my body reacts to Saint the way I do. Nor does it explain why I haven’t even considered being with anyone else since …
I stop.
Nope. I can’t go there.
Except I do. Because the truth is sitting right in front of me. It’s unavoidable at this point.
I haven’t been with anyone else since him. Not even close. And not because I couldn’t have. It was because I had no interest in looking.
My stomach tightens.
This isn’t just timing or stress.
It’s something else. Something I don’t think either one of us wants to name.
I push back from the desk. I can’t sit here like this. I need to move and clear my head. Reset.
I step out into the hallway and back to the training room without really thinking about where I’m going.
And the second I walk in, I forget how to breathe.
