Then, as he stared blankly into his bowl, a half-eaten piece of toast dangling from his fingers, Jai said, “I think that’s what happened to me, as well.”
He was putting this together very quickly, and I knew I was going to have to steer him in the right direction. Otherwise we could end up with a very messy outcome to all of this. “Which part of it do you mean?” I asked him, giving nothing away. “What happened to you?”
“I don’t think my master was supposed to buy me. Or at least, not at first. I think maybe…” He clenched his jaw and his fists, before making a concerted effort to relax. “I think the person who wanted me to be trained as an erotic companion was someone else. And I don’t know what happened to them, but my master now isn’t the same person that was supposed to buy me.”
Oh stars, why the hell did this all have to happen when Aiden was away? What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to confirm Jai’s theory? I’d have to explain it to Aiden in a hurry, sohe was abreast of the supposed ‘truth’ before Jai caught him in a lie over any of the details. But was even this neat little twisting of the truth an acceptable version? Aiden was eager for Jai to know that he wasn’t responsible for his harsh training, but what if there were some holes in this story that made the whole thing unravel?
But having Jai continue to believe that his master was a heartless bastard was surely a worse position to be in. Could I just say I didn’t know? I didn’t think that would be believable. I’d already proven I knew a great deal about my master’s affairs, both military and personal.
“Have you talked to Aiden about this?” I said in the end. It wasn’t quite a confirmation or a denial, leaving myself room to backpedal if things went sideways.
“No,” Jai said, rather more emphatically than I’d expected. “I can’t say that to him. Or, I couldn’t, at least, while we were out. Because if I’m wrong, then he could get very angry about…”
“About what?”
“About me wanting to have a different master. Dimari do not…” He shook his head abruptly and stood up, stalking away across the room, his meal abandoned. “Dimari do notdisliketheir own masters. Zeke said something similar, that I would find it strange if I’d been bought by a fruit farmer. And I told him I would have preferred that,” Jai admitted, violet rippling over his neck again. “But masters can get very angry if their dimari say that they don’t want their master to be their master. I was just hoping…” He was standing in the middle of the kitchen, hands waving, his face a riot of emotions. “My master has not asked me to doanythingsexual. Well, no, he tried to touch me in the shower,” he amended, and he seemed to calm down abruptly at the recollection. “But that was nothing more than he’d have asked of any dimari, no matter what their training was. I just can’t see how a man who wanted me to have the stamina to ridefifty men would fail to make use of those skills for three whole days. And it’s certainly not for lack of opportunity.”
As far as Jai was concerned, my answer to his question seemed entirely obvious. He desperately wanted to believe that Aiden was not the man who’d ordered his training. And so I decided to confirm his suspicions. I’d just have to make sure I helped Aiden muddle through the details later. “You’re right,” I said. “Aiden isn’t the one who asked for you to be trained that way. We saw that you were being advertised and that you had excellent combat skills, so he bought you in the hope that you’d make a good addition to our team.”
Jai barked out a laugh. “And I’ve been as difficult about the whole thing as I could possibly manage. He must be rather disappointed, regardless of what he was expecting.”
After a second or two of consideration, I decided not to assuage Jai’s guilttoomuch. Dimari were expected to please their masters, and his attitude, by normal standards, had been deplorable. Allowing him to feel a certain amount of guilt about it – temporarily, at least – would hopefully lend a certain credibility to the supposed situation.
“Having a bit of a rough start doesn’t mean we can’t fix the problems,” I told him. “Aiden is not unreasonable. Your behaviour has not been exemplary so far, but if he sees that you’re making an effort from now on, I’m sure it wouldn’t take long for us to start working together as a team. Please, come and finish your lunch,” I added, when Jai continued to stand there.
Jai came back to the table and slouched down into his seat. This was a positive revelation for him, but still a lot to take in. He ate a few more bites of his food, and I could see from his restlessness that he was still running over everything in his head. Then he asked, out of the blue, “Why did he buy an erotic companion when he clearly doesn’t need one?”
Oh fuck, how the hell was I supposed to explain that one? “I suppose we thought the three of us could have some fun together,” I said, making a half-hearted attempt at a seductive lilt. “Well, that was before we realised how unpleasant your training had been,” I amended. “There’s no real need for you to be performing any kind of exceptional service, sexually speaking. It wasn’t something we were looking for. It just happened to be available.”
Jai looked away, once more uncomfortable. “I was also wondering…” He stirred his soup listlessly. “Dax asked if you’d been showing me around. Showing me the way Aiden likes things done. And I haven’t given you much of an opportunity, so that’s on me,” he said, shouldering the responsibility. “But I would like to know…” Another ripple of violet crossed his shoulders. “I would like to know what he enjoys in bed.”
In light of Jai’s apparent change of attitude, the request could have been a genuine one. But then again… “Are you asking because you want to know how to please him, or because you want to know which aspects of that duty you need to try and avoid? And before you get defensive about it,” I rushed on, “wanting to avoid the parts you find unpleasant is completely reasonable. Aiden cares a great deal about your comfort and safety. It might take a little while to accept that, given your background, but now that you know he didn’t request your training, I hope you’ll consider the idea seriously. That said, I also know it’s very difficult for dimari to resist their master’s requests, even if they would like to. That’s something we can certainly talk about more at a later date, but for now… what are you actually trying to achieve?”
Once more proving that he was both more insightful and more intelligent than I was giving him credit for, Jai said, “I want to understand him. I want to know what he enjoys, not so that I can hand that to him on a silver platter, but because it tellsme more about the sort of person he is. I came here expecting a particular type of master, and it’s one thing to say he’s not that sort of person, but it’s an entirely different thing to understand who he really is. You said you were hoping to have some fun, all of us together. What would that look like?”
His goal was a perfectly reasonable one. Learning to understand one’s master was an important part of a dimari’s life. But I also suspected there was a certain amount of fear motivating the question. So far, Jai seemed to have been driven more by a desire to avoid pain than a desire to please his master. A new perspective on who his master was wasn’t likely to change that overnight.
I considered how to answer the question. Aiden was certainly not sadistic or outlandish in his desires, but he and I had discovered together that we both enjoyed it when he decided to get more forceful. By all current indications, it wasn’t likely that Jai would enjoy that sort of thing, but at the same time, I knew Aiden would make an effort to be sensitive to Jai’s limitations.
“Do you enjoy being penetrated?” I asked Jai bluntly. He hesitated to answer, so I added, “I’m not your master. You can answer me honestly.”
“No, I don’t,” he said. “I did at the start. But it’s just been too much.”
“Then I’ll tell Aiden that and we can find more creative ways to do things. He’s quite a fan of oral sex – likely of a much gentler kind that you were taught. Only involving your mouth, not your throat. Or, on the other hand, it’s entirely possible Aiden will blow you, rather than the other way around.”
Jai snorted at that. “Now you’re just making up stories,” he said – not maliciously, but with a steadfast belief in his own words.
“I promise you, I’m not. I know we’re all taught that masters don’t do that sort of thing, but sexual standards in the Allianceare quite different from what we’re taught to expect. Given your past experience, I would expect Aiden to ask you to use either your hands or your mouth on him, and then he’d likely do the same thing to you. Or he might want to thrust between your thighs, rather than inside you. Massage is always fun, as well.” I paused to see how he’d react.
He nodded, not objecting to anything I’d said, but also not seeming terribly reassured about it.
“I suppose you might still have some reservations about oral sex,” I guessed. “What you described before sounded quite intense.”
Jai shrugged, avoiding my gaze.
An idea occurred to me… and while it was the sort of thing I would usually run past Aiden first, my master wasn’t here, and I had a strong feeling that Jai needed more assistance with this before he was thrown in the deep end with Aiden. And technically, I’d already been given permission to do what I was about to suggest. So I wasn’t breaking any rules…
“What about if we had a trial run together while Aiden’s out?” I suggested. “I don’t have the power to order you to do anything, so you can stop at any time. And then you might know more about how far you’re comfortable going for when Aiden invites you to try things with him.”
