“I just picked it up. It was on sale,” her then-wife had said. “I thought it might be fun for us to do this together.”
But bytogether, she meant thatKristinawould dye her hair brown because her ex-wife wanted to see what it would look like. Kristina hadn’t done it. She’d hidden the color kit inside the cabinet under the sink, and later, she had made it disappear in the trash.
“We should start with these cards, right?” Debra asked when they arrived in the room. “They’ve got our names on them. Well, the stack was labeled for us anyway, and there are numbers, so I think we’re supposed to ask the questions in order.”
“Okay,” Kristina replied and sat on the end of the bed.
Debra did the same but left a couple of feet of space between them.
“Um… The first question is a hard one. Wow. Okay.”
Kristina chuckled and asked, “What is it?”
“What brings you here?” Debra read the question and turned the card in order to let Kristina see.
“Oh. She’s making us dive right in there, huh?”
“The next one is, ‘What were you like in high school?’ So, yeah, I’d say we’re going deep.” Debra chuckled.
It was husky and almost as if Debra had been a smoker for decades, but her teeth weren’t yellow at all, and she wasn’t thin in that way that a lot of smokers were at times. Debra had curves, and she carried them well.
“So, what bringsyouhere?” Debra asked.
“Oh. Well, I know that we’re supposed to spend at least thirty minutes doing this, but I think my answer could take up the whole time. Doyoumaybe want to start instead?” She laughed a little.
Debra looked down at the stack of cards in her hands and seemed to be considering how to respond to that.
“It’s okay. I can start,” Kristina amended.
“No, it’s okay. I don’t think I was expecting this to be the first thing I did here, so it’s kind of hitting me all at once.” Debra looked up and over at Kristina then. “My wife died about five years ago, and I haven’t dated or anything since. I thought this might be a pressure-free, or at least, a low-pressure way to put myself back out there. It’s one week, and if I didn’t click with anyone, I’d just go home, but if I did, maybe it could be something, you know?”
“Oh, Debra, I’m so sorry.”
“Me too,” Debra replied. “She was only forty years old. We were supposed to have our whole lives together, and it’s been really hard. I think I spent the first two years after her death mostly numb. Then, I started to slowly donate some of her stuff and keep the rest. I’m not sure when I actually accepted that she was gone, though. Maybe recently. Therapy has been helpful, but there’s only so much it can do. And I just told you that I go to therapy and talked all about my wife.” Debra laughed a bit. “That isnotwhy you came here, I’m sure.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Kristina placed her hand on Debra’s. “How did she die? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”
“Rear-ended by a drunk driver. She was okay at first, or at least, they thought she was okay. I got to the hospital, and she started going downhill from there because she had some internal bleeding. She had just enough time to tell me to find someone else. In her final minutes, before they took her back to surgery, she somehow knew that she wouldn’t make it, and she told me to find someone else.”
Debra shook her head.
“It sounds like she loved you very much.”
“High school sweethearts.”
“What?” Kristina asked, feeling infinitely more awful at hearing that.
“Yeah… I know. Makes it worse, doesn’t it? We met in high school and became friends. Started dating in secret our senior year. We managed to make it through going to different colleges and moved in together as roommates after that. No one seemed to think anything of it. Eventually, we came out to our families, had a civil union ceremony, and when it became legal, we got married. I was lucky enough to know her for twenty-six years and to be hers for most of them.”
“I’m sorry, Debra. Then again, I’m sure you’re probably tired of hearing people tell you they’re sorry, huh?”
“No, I understand. It’s a natural response.” She nodded as if deciding something. “Now, you. What brings you here?”
“Oh. I’m divorced. My ex-wife was fine when I married her, or so I thought, but she turned into a not very nice person toward the end of our marriage. It’s taken me some time and, yes, some therapy as well, to get me to a place where I could sign up for something crazy like this. It’s not at all like me.” Kristina laughed softly. “Honestly, I haven’t even been with anyone since her, and I applied on a whim, but here I am now, and I’m kind of just proud of myself for showing up.”
“Me too,” Debra said with a little laugh. “I thought I’d chicken out.”
“Yes!” Kristina agreed and laughed harder. “But I don’t know; something inside me told me that I had to do this for myself. Same reason as you, most likely. I haven’t been with anyone since, and I’m tired of being alone, so I thought this was low pressure. If I meet someone, that’s great. If I don’t, I go home, and no one even knows I was here.”
