“It was about a year before that, then a year of the separation, and it’s been a year since the divorce was final, so…severalyears altogether.”
“God, that’s awful.”
“Thanks.” She rolled her eyes at him. “And I have tried other stuff. It hasn’t worked. I applied, like, seven months ago, not thinking I’d get chosen or anything, but I did. Now, I’m leaving tomorrow and need to finish packing, so feel free to leave whenever.”
“What are you going to do?” her brother asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to sleep with them or just kind of hang out and get to know them to see if there’s someone you might want to be with?”
“I think the point is to do both, but I don’t know yet. I guess I’ll see who’s there and if I’m attracted to them.”
“Take the sex, Kristina.”
“What?” She laughed.
“Even if you’re not totally into someone, enjoy the sex. It’s a way to get back out there with no real consequences, right?”
“I guess.”
“Then, go for it. Have fun and just relax.” Her brother stood up from the chair at the bay window of her bedroom. “If something works out longer term, great, but if not, at least have fun. You deserve it, you know? She was horrible to you in the end, and you definitely didn’t deservethat.”
“I know,” Kristina agreed. “And I’ll try, but I’m really nervous. I know we’ll each have our own rooms, there will be non-sex events during the day, and everything is optional, so I shouldn’t feel pressure, but I do. I don’t want to be bad at it and ruin someone else’s trip.”
“How about you just let go and let God, as Mom likes to say,” her brother suggested with a laugh and walked over to her. “No pressure. That’s the point. Just have fun and maybe more, but if not more, that’s okay, too.”
“Yeah, okay,” she replied. “I guess so.”
“Great. I’m going home now, so pack something better than that old T-shirt you just tossed into your suitcase.”
“I’m going to sleep in that,” she defended.
“I hope not,” he replied. “I’ll see you when you get back. And I want no details.” He held both of her shoulders. “You heard that part, right? I want you to have fun, but I don’t want to hear any of the specifics.”
“Got it,” she said and laughed as he walked out the door.
Then, she pulled out a drawer of stuff she had bought, washed a few days ago, and was now ready to put inside her suitcase. She wasn’t sure anyone could or would find her sexy, but she was thirty-five and still way too young to be thinking like that just because her ex-wife didn’t seem to like anything about her anymore. Confidently, she packed everything away, but when that confidence promptly disappeared, she sat on the edge of her bed and sighed.
“What am I doing?” she asked herself.
CHAPTER 4
Debra
She had been to the cemetery so many times over the years that she felt like the bench beneath her had formed around her butt. She had her spot. She had her view. She had a place where she parked her car on the thin road behind her, which she did her best not to block, and she had her flowers. She always brought flowers. The grocery store and the florist she frequented knew her well. Sometimes, Debra needed to visit her wife on a Monday, when the florist was closed, and the grocery store was her destination, so practically everyone at both locations knew her by her first name. She changed out the flowers she brought every time, even if the older ones weren’t dead yet, and she moved those to another headstone that seemed like no one had visited it for a while.
“Hi, honey,” she said to her wife. “I know I normally just sit here, and we talk about my week at work or something else like that, but today, I need to talk to you about something important.” She sighed. “It’s been five years. I lost you five years ago today, and I’ve been waiting to tell you about this thing I did. I probably shouldn’t be telling you on the anniversary of your death, but I was so nervous to tell you. I have been waiting and waiting, but now, it’s getting to the point where you need to know. I’m leaving tomorrow. Not forever, obviously, but I’ll be gone for a week. I know you’re used to seeing me a few timesa week, so I wanted to make sure you knew that I wouldn’t be here.”
Debra looked around and saw a man and a woman walking hand in hand with a bouquet of flowers. She wondered if they were there to visit a parent and silently hoped that they weren’t there to visit a child. She’d met many people in this cemetery over the years just by sitting on this bench or by placing flowers on graves, but she hadn’t met this couple, and whenever she saw someone new, she always wondered whom they were there to visit.
“I’m going to this event, and it’s not at all like me to do this,” she continued. “You’re going to laugh when you hear it, but it’s a singles’ week event, and it’s less about sharing a drink with someone to see if there’s a connection and more about maybe seeing if there’s a physical connection.” Debra swallowed. “I haven’t… I haven’t been with anyone since you, honey. I don’t think I’m going to come out of this with a girlfriend or anything, but I’m very lonely. I know you told me that you wanted me to find love again, and I said I never would, but it’s been five years. I’m only forty-five, and I just had a physical. Turns out, I’m in really good shape, and the doctor had no complaints, so barring some accident, I might live for a long time. I don’t want to do that alone if I can help it. I don’t know that I’ll actually sleep with anyone there, but I think I’m ready to try to maybe find someone. The woman in charge of this thing, Nia, has this amazing track record of introducing couples this way, so I applied to join an event six months ago, thinking that by the time she called me, if she ever did, I’d either have met someone or I would have talked myself out of going.” She laughed at herself a bit. “I suppose I still could, but I’m going home to pack after this, and I think I’m going to do it. I hadthembook me a first-class flight because I knew that if I did that, I’d definitely go. I’ve never flown first-class before.” She smiled. “We were going to dothat on our fifteen-year anniversary when we went back to Italy, remember?” She wiped tears from her eyes. “Anyway, I have to get going to pack, but I love you. I miss you. I hope you’re okay with this.”
Debra stood, walked to her car, and after seeing the couple from earlier holding each other at a grave, she drove herself home, pulled out the suitcase that she hadn’t used in years, and began to pack.
CHAPTER 5
Becky
