“You know what I want?”
“No. What?”
“Well, without giving away the specifics, I feel like I got a little healing in last night, you know? Like, I felt good with who I was paired with. Debra and I have been dealing with different losses, butlossesall the same. Now, or at least in the near future, I really just want to have sex how I have wanted to for the past, well, decade or so.” Kristina laughed a little.
“How is that, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Toys.”
“Ah,” Sharon said.
“So, if you want, I would be interested in that. I’d understand if you don’t want anything with me or tonight. I feel like each one of us here is doing our own self-discoveries, butjust because we discover stuff about ourselves, it doesn’t mean that we’re ready to do something about it. Would you maybe want to?”
“Yeah, Kristina. You’re totally hot.” Sharon chuckled.
“I am?”
“Um, yes. That red hair of yours is like kryptonite to some people, those green eyes are killer, and your body… Well, I can safely say I’ve been objectifying you on and off since we arrived.”
Kristina smiled and asked, “Do you maybe… want to go pick something out with me? We can just pick stuff, and if you change your mind, we don’t–”
“What are you interested in trying?” Sharon asked, interjecting, because not wanting Kristina wouldn’t be an issue. “She has a ton of different things out there.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t really explored that room yet. I was a little intimidated by it.”
“Well, we can go and pick something out together.”
“Are you okay if I’m not very good at giving using a toy? I have never actually done that. I had sex with women using strap-ons before I got married, but I was always the recipient, and it’s been a very long time. I think since college. I’m thirty-five now as a point of reference.”
“You don’t have to do anything to me if you don’t want to or if you’re uncomfortable with anything. I’m getting turned on thinking about being behindyou.”
“You are?”
Sharon nodded and looked her up and down.
“Let’s go get something for me to wear for you, and if you want to do something to me, great, but if not, I’m okay.”
“That is very generous of you, but I think I’d be more than happy to return any and all favors,” Kristina replied with flirtation in her tone.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes. Now, let’s go pick something out before I just drop to my knees and spread yours.”
“Oh, fuck,” Sharon said. “That’s really hot.”
“Come on.” Kristina stood and held out her hand for her to take. “I want what you said.”
Sharon took her hand and let Kristina walk her down the hallway.
CHAPTER 24
Kristina
Her ex-wife hadn’t been very nice in general toward the end of their marriage, but when it came to their sex life or lack thereof, she’d been downright mean at times. Kristina had put up with it for too long. She knew that now more than she understood it even right after her divorce, and she was ready to finally overcome the nerves and embarrassment of having the kind of sex she wanted to have.
Last night had been great, but it had been more about healing and, in a way, being there for Debra, who had been doing the same thing for her, and less about the act itself and the amazing orgasms she craved. She hadn’t come inside in years. Even when she had tried herself, nothing had worked, and she had tried everything. She’d attempted using various toys, tried different positions and angles, watched good sex scenes in her favorite sapphic films, and watched porn, some soft and some hardcore. Her preference was always two or more women in a scene, but she’d even tried straight and gay male porn because she’d been desperate. Still, her brain had always gotten in the way. Well, not reallyherbrain; more herex-wife’sbrain and specifically, her voice.
“Why can’t you come with my fingers inside you?” her ex had asked her repeatedly. “I’m doing what you tell me you want. You tell me to flick, I flick. Come on, Kristina.”
