“Yes, Lacey. Do you like it?”
“Sometimes. I get sick of it.”
“Then, eat it when you want it. I think you look great,” she said, meaning it. “Not that it should matter to you what I think. I just mean that you should do whatever you want and do it for you, right? So, if you want fast food every night, have it. Although, it’s not exactly healthy, so I probably shouldn’t be recommending you do that, huh?”
“Do you want to go out into the water now so I don’t have to stand here in a bikini I only bought because I thought mygirlfriend might be interested in seeing me wear it? She’s inside withyourgirlfriend and couldn’t have cared less when I put it on this morning. I’m feeling a little exposed out here.”
Cameron picked up Lacey’s T-shirt and handed it back to her.
“Let’s just sit down.”
“No, you wanted to boogie board.”
“I’m good.” She picked up Lacey’s shorts and handed them to her. “Let’s sit. If you want to go in later, we can, but Kennedy is probably right: it’s too cold. I’ll freeze after a second and get out anyway. This will save me a mid-day shower.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Cameron said and sat down on her towel.
Then, she watched Lacey put her shirt and shorts back on, silently wondering how River couldn’t even care that her girlfriend looked really, really good in a bikini.
“Are you okay?” Lacey asked when she sat down next to her and brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.
“I’m good. Why?”
“I don’t know. I’ve known you less than twenty-four hours, but you… You don’t seem…”
“Happy?” Cameron finished for her and brought her legs up to match Lacey’s posture. “I am. Well, I was.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can trust you, Lacey. That’s not a question. It’s a statement. I can already tell that I can.”
“Okay…”
“But you’re here on a double date with me and my girlfriend. I shouldn’t be dropping anything on you. I know it’s already been awkward.”
“I don’t really care about that. I want to make sure you are okay, Cam.”
Cameron looked over at Lacey and said, “We’ve been having problems for a while. The fight we had in public was a mistake, and it’s hurting our careers, which makes us even more unhappy because we both love what we do. It’s been like this double whammy recently, but it wasn’t good before that, if I’m being honest. It’s like we’ve been slowly growing apart for at least a year, and there’s nothing we can do to get it back; what we had before. God, I was so in love with her, Lacey.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t imagine being without her. I thought we’d move in together, get engaged, and be married by now. I’m just glad we don’t want kids, or we could’ve had them already, too, and–” She looked out at the water. “I wouldn’t want to bring kids into this.”
“It’s that bad?”
“I love Kennedy. She’s my best friend in a way I have never had a best friend before, but I don’t know that I’minlove with her anymore. She’s amazing, and it’s nothing she is or that she’s doing necessarily. It just feels like we’re both in different places, when we’re not, you know? We’re in the same place we’ve always been. We’re in the same house, same career. We even have the same team pretty much. It should still be working, but it’s not.”
“It’s probably not my business, but have you talked to someone about it?”
“Therapy?” Cameron took a deep breath. “We’ve thought about it, yeah, but we’re worried about it getting out. Not the going to therapy part specifically, although we don’t really want anyone knowing that, either, because it’s our business. You know Jon Martinez?”
“The action star guy?”
Cameron chuckled at how Lacey described one of the biggest stars on the planet.
“He and his wife went to couple’s therapy years ago now. I want to say at least four or five. Their therapist didn’t shareanything, but their receptionist shared that Jon and his wife were attending therapy and made money from some tabloid because she could hear them arguing with each other through the therapist’s door. They sued her and won, but the information was out there.” Cameron hooked her thumb toward the house. “Kennedy is friends with Jon. He was on her show for a couple of seasons, and they’ve stayed in touch over the years. He and his wife were devastated, and you can say that Ken worries that it could happen to us. No matter what you do to protect yourself in this business, people will still find a way to get into your personal life. I feel like we have CIA-level encryption on our phones just to be safe. It takes me twenty minutes to unlock the damn thing, but if it could give me time to erase everything on it before some hacker gets into it, I’m more protected.”
“Wow. I’m sorry, Cam. I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“Doing this job can be exhausting at times, and it means you have to give some stuff up, but it’s worth it to me. I’m really not complaining. I love acting. I’ve only ever wanted to be in the movies. Well, theater was my first love, which was why I went to school for acting, but I knew I wanted to be in movies, too, and once I was here, I knew it was all I wanted to do. I love it. I do wish Kennedy and I didn’t have to worry as much about things getting out because it means we’re resistant to talking to someone, but I don’t know that it would have helped much.”
