For some reason, I don’t think that would be considered a valid excuse. “Sorry,” I tell him, the only thing Icansay, followed by a small lie. “I forgot to set my alarm.”
The anger deflates out of him, so the lie must be believable enough. “It’s fine. Let’s just head to the next place. The first one wasn’t that good anyway.” He pats me on the arm the wayfriends do, totally normal, and it takes everything in me not to flinch.
Ryan’s been bugging me about moving in together since last year, and I always brushed him off. The truth is, I don’t really want to live with him. He’s a friend, a good friend, but we’re notthatclose, and it seems easier to live with someone you don’t have to hang out with on a daily basis.
That train has left the station with Mike, but that’s different.
He’s pretty.
But still, I almost talked myself out of my decision on the way over here, the thought of Ryan being angry playing over and over in my head. But I remember Mike’s words.
You’re not allowed to move out.
Hurry back.
I’m not done with you.
I don’t think I’m done with him either.
“Listen, uh—” I look around for help, but the people sitting outside Starbucks drinking their coffee provide none. “I think I’m actually gonna give Mike another shot. We talked about some things, and I think we’re good now.”
Ryan goes very still. “You’re staying.”
“Yeah, I am.” I stuff my hands into the pockets of my jeans for something to do.
Ryan looks out at the parking lot, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “He’s crazy, Alex.”
“You don’t know him.”
“I know his reputation.”
“He’s not—” I think about Mike on his knees on the floor last night, putting my hands in his hair. Falling asleep on top of me. Kissing me this morning and not making me feel stupid when it mattered. “He’s not what everyone says.”
Ryan looks at me a certain way, and I almost think he knows. I’m being too obvious.
But then that look turns neutral, and he nods. “So we’re not getting a place.”
“Not right now. I’m sorry I wasted your morning.”
He waves it off, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. We’re good. You wanna grab coffee?”
“Yeah,” I say, grateful that he’s not making this a bigger deal. “Coffee sounds good.”
Chapter 10
Mike isn’t home when I get back from spending the day with Ryan, an attempt to make up for being the biggest flake on earth. He pretended he wasn’t upset, but I could see it, the way he was carrying himself, that he was.
And I don’t blame him, but it still has me on edge.
Jason wasn’t quiet in his anger, I remind myself. If he was upset, I would know.
I would have the bruises to prove it.
Instead of wallowing in anxiety, I decide to be productive. It takes me the rest of the day, but when I’m done, I’m all caught up on homework for the week.
The clock on my laptop reads eleven at night, and I can’t stop the disappointment from creeping in.
I don’t know what I was expecting.
