“Mhm. You’re comfy.”
“You squished our come between us.”
He pushes himself up, scrunching his nose up at the feeling. “I’m realizing that.”
I grab his back and flip us over, startling a yelp out of him. “Hey!” The look on his face makes me laugh, and he laughs too, and I have to kiss him again.
Once the come between us becomes something I can’t ignore, I pull back with a final peck and find him watching me. “I’m gonna grab a towel, be right back.”
Something passes over his face then, a little frown, but he gets rid of it before it means anything. Once I’ve got my sweatpants back on and I’ve started into the hallway, I hear a quiet, “okay,” from my bed.
Weird.
That’s what we do, more nights than not.
Mike comes into my room and sucks my dick or gives me a hand job or some combination of the two. Sometimes he gets off, sometimes he doesn’t.
And I feel bad about that, I really do. I haven’t offered to do anything. I could probably give him a decent blowjob. I’ve done itmanytimes.
Some part of me wants to, I think.
Every inch of him is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, including his dick. Nothing can compare to him.
It’s just—
I like this. Him. What we’re doing. If I go and ruin it by freaking out, I would never forgive myself.
So I don’t ask for anything, accept what he wants to give, and bask in the light that is Mike Pierce for as long as he’ll have me.
Until I shut down.
I don’t intend to. I thought I was doing okay. I haven’t had a bad episode since that one over the summer where I thought I saw Jason, even though I know he’s in prison and—
Yeah. Anyway. I thought I was fine.
But it’s almostHalloween.
Sometimes in life, there are things that fundamentally change you. Take things you used to love and rewrite them into something you can no longer stand to look at. I’ve had a few too many of those. Most involving Jason.
Halloween is one of those things.
It started innocent enough. Mike asked if I wanted to go grocery shopping with him, and I said yes. I wanted to hang out with him, and I didn’t know it was getting so close.
And then he makes me go into the Halloween section.
“Alex.”
“Alex.”
“Hellooo, Alex,” he waves in front of my face, and I focus back on him, but I’m not fully back. “Where’d you go?”
I shake my head, looking at the candy he was trying to decide on. “Get the good bag, we don’t want to be known as the house with shitty candy.” I try to sound okay, but I know he sees right through me.
Thankfully, he doesn’t call me out on it.
I can’t come out of it this time. I try, I really do, but I can’t. I’ve been lying down for hours, my body shivering even though I’m sweating. I’m not even crying this time. I can’t.
Mike comes to my room at what I’m assuming is the usual time, but I have no idea. He doesn’t announce himself this time, just barges in, his shirt already half off by the time I look up.
