Nate’s truck has always felt like an extension of him.
He’s had the thing since I was a kid. Countless memories made, every drive to and from school that I can remember, the crayon markings and stickers on the back door.
Iris has the listing for the next house pulled up on her phone, zooming in on the kitchen pictures, humming in approval. Nate glances over every thirty seconds with that stupid smile when he looks at her.
I make fun of him for it, but I think I understand how he feels now.
My phone buzzesagain, before I’ve checked the last three texts from him. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he might miss me.
The first text is a picture of an angry dog.
Mike: this was you when I ate the last poptart
Mike: actually you’re more like this one
Another dog, even more angry. I press my lips together to keep from smiling at my phone.
Mike: I’m bored what are you doing??
Alex: Going to look at a house with my brother
Mike: The hot one?
I watch Rosehill through the window as we pass the gas station. Nate used to let me get slushies there after school before everything went to shit.
Alex: I’m not responding anymore.
Mike: Nooo I’m sorry tell me about the house
Alex:It’s a house. Not much to say about it.
Mike: you don’t sound very excited
Alex: I am. It’s what they want.
Mike: But not what you want?
I look out the window again.
I’m twenty years old, sitting in the backseat of my brother’s truck, helping him look for a house that isn’t the one I grew up in. The only home I’ve ever known, and when Nate sells it…
I won’t have a place to land anymore.
I keep telling myself I should be happy for them. Nate’s married now, he wants a bigger place than the little house we moved into when we needed to get away from dad. This is good for him and Iris. It’s the next step.
But what about me?
Where do I fit?
Alex: we moved there when I was 5. And I know it’s stupid, I don’t even live there anymore, but it feels like I’m losing my home.
Mike: It’s not stupid
I read that twice, watching the text bubbles appear again several times before another text comes.
Mike: I never got to go back home after my parents died but I would have given anything to
My chest tightens at the reminder of his parents.
