“Karson–” My blue eyes meet his gray ones as a rumble of thunder vibrates the balcony. “If I had listened to you before, that guy would have never gotten his hands on me.”
Guilt twists in my gut. Guilt for not listening, for letting my anger toward Karson put me in the line of fire. Guilt because if I had just listened to him instead of engaging in a yearlong pissing contest, that man might be alive today. Though, I’m not so sure. If it wasn’t me he harassed and assaulted, it most likely would have been someone else.
He searches my gaze, nods his head, and wraps both arms around my waist. He doesn’t say “I told you so”, doesn’t poke any further, just rests his chin on my shoulder. Both of us sit in comfortable silence as we watch the clouds roll in closer and the rain start to pelt the side of the building.
“When I found you again after all that time, I couldn’t believe it. I told myself I’d never let you out of my sight again, never let another bad thing happen to you. I intend to do just that.”
“Never letanotherbad thing happen to me?” I question.
Plenty happened to me after he left the foster home, but that statement sounded pointed. I’m starting to understand that it wasn’t done on purpose. That’s a question for another day.
“What’s the last thing you remember from that night?” He asks, watching me carefully.
“I don’t know. Seeing you after all that time cut open old wounds I thought had healed.” I pause, feeling silly now for pushing him away as hard I did. Or tried to. “I served drinks like I always did, nothing really-” I trail off, realization dawning on me. “I don’t remember anything after you getting up and goingto the bathroom.” I search my memory for something, anything. But it’s hazy at best.
“What happened?” I ask. His hand rubs up and down my back.
“When I got out of the bathroom, I sat in a booth to give you some space. A guy sat down, ordered a drink, and when you had your back turned he dropped GHB into your water glass.”
I gasp, my hand covering my mouth. My hand shakes. “He wha–” A knot forms in my throat. “That’s why I was so sick for a few days.”
He nods.
“When it started to kick in, it was close to closing time. Everyone else left. You passed out behind the bar, and I beat the shit out the guy. Didn’t even see me coming.”
We sit quietly for a minute before he continues. “I got you in my car, took that fucker to the warehouse and got rid of him.”
My jaw drops. Why didn’t he tell me this before?
You were too busy being an angry bitch, how was he supposed to?
Shaking my head, I let out a sigh. Tears start spilling over my lashes. I don’t know why but I can’t even control it. He wipes them away with his thumbs.
“I brought you back home when it was done. Sat with you while Elias helped get an IV in you, some oxygen,” he continues. “Once your vitals started returning to normal, I left. But Elias and I checked in on you constantly until you were better.”
“You should’ve brought me to the hospital,” I whisper.
“And risk the fact that someone else could have been with that guy, and leave you unprotected?” He shakes his head. “Absolutely fucking not.” His tone is firm, final. My chest cracks open, tears streaming down my cheeks now as he shifts me in his lap. My head drops to his shoulder and I breathe him in. Dark,dangerous, unhinged, but also safe. He’s always been my safe place, and I hate that I forgot that.
“Thank you,” I mumble into his shirt. Sitting up, I wipe my face with my sleeve. Another question burning the back of my throat.
“Did you know where I was?” His eyes soften a touch. I don't think I’d be able to handle it if he tells me he did, but I need the truth. “Did you know where I was the whole time?” He shakes his head.
“I went back for you as soon as I could. You were already gone. I never stopped trying to find you, but it was like you just vanished.” He slides a hand into my hair, keeping my gaze on his. “I was on my way back from a private detail that night. I saw the sign and decided to stop for a drink. I walked in and there you were.”
My eyes widen, tears falling faster now. The onslaught of information causes my nervous system to go haywire.
I never stopped looking.
There you were.
Time between then and now collapses. Every night I thought he forgot me. Every mile I thought he chose not to come, he was still searching. Grief, forgiveness, want, regret, lost time and relief all come together at once, forming a knot in my throat.
“Karson, I-.” He doesn’t let me finish. His mouth is on mine in an instant. I stiffen, then quickly melt into the kiss. His tongue grazes my lips, and I open for him.
I kiss him hard, our tongues fighting for dominance. My arms wrap around his neck, as he rises from the chair. Without breaking the kiss, my legs lock around his waist when he starts moving. My back meets the cold, wet concrete, and it sends a chill down my spine. He lifts me onto the ledge of the balcony before his hands grab my face as he breaks the kiss and I chase it.
My eyes flutter open, looking up into his. A small grin pulls at his lips.
