“Then we’re good to go.” He leaned closer to the mirror and ran his finger over the split. “But maybe go easy on the mouth stuff.”
I gasped in mock horror. “Nomouth stuff? Oh no! Whatever will we do?”
Thaddeus elbowed me in the stomach. “Fucking me would be an excellent start.”
“Mmm.” I pretended to think about that. “Isupposethat would be okay, but only because you insist.”
“Less talk, more action.” Thaddeus tugged me toward the bedrooms. He paused by the kitchen door. “Your room or mine?”
“Mine.” I took control, scooping him into my arms and almost taking his head off in my hurry to get him through the bedroom door. “Sorry,” I muttered, dumping him unceremoniously onto the bed before quickly shutting the door on Ziggy.
When I turned around, Thaddeus was up on one elbow, grinning at me. The sight of him sprawled on my bed, eyeing me like he wanted to devour me, stole my fucking breath. I wanted him like I hadn’t wanted a man since James, maybe even then, but there was a small bump in the road to negotiate first. A bump I fucking hated, but one I’d long ago decided I needed to do, for me. Not because I had to, but because I chose to. Everyone was different.
Picking up on my hesitation, Thaddeus frowned. “Is there a problem?”
“No,” I assured him. “At least not for me. But there’s something you should know.”
Thaddeus waited, and for the life of me, I didn’t understand why I was suddenly so damn nervous about his reaction. I’d done this many, many times since James had left, and each timehad been very much a take-it or leave-it scenario. I didn’t give a fuck if the guys I told walked away. But this time felt different.
I drew a sharp breath and simply said it. “I’m HIV positive, Thaddeus. James didn’t know that he was positive when we first got together, not until his ex contacted him to get tested a year later. It was too late by then.”
Thaddeus frowned but said nothing, taking a minute to digest this new information. When he was done, he asked, “Undetectable, untransmissible?”
I nodded. “For six years now. It took a year for me to get to that point once I started treatment, but I’ve been stable ever since.”
Thaddeus’s eyes never left mine. “Then we don’t have a problem.”
My mouth continued to run anyway. “I take my meds, and my viral load hasn’t changed in all that time. I’m happy to show you my labs if you want.”
Thaddeus’s mouth curved up in a slow, sexy smile. “That won’t be necessary. And don’t look so worried. You do realise if you’re undetectable, you don’t even have to tell me, right?”
“I know.” I held his gaze. “But I choose to.”
He nodded slowly. “Well, thanks for letting me know. I’m on PrEP, as it happens, but it’s been a few days. Didn’t think to pack it at the time, all things considered.” He winked. “And since you’re undetectable...” He trailed off and patted the bed beside him. “Come here.”
His knowledge and his trust in me were reassuring. I blew a sigh of relief. “I don’t mean to make a big thing of it, it’s just that some men don’t understand what?—”
“I’m not somemen.” Thaddeus’s expression grew sober.
He sure as hell wasn’t.
“I keep up with the latest information and I know the drill. As long as you’ve got condoms, we’re good to go.”
That made me smile. “Top drawer behind you. Lube’s in there too.”
He reached into the drawer and dumped the supplies on the bed. Then he looked my way and licked his lips. “You’re not scaring me, Ryder, so if we’re done with the checklist, can we get on with the fun part?”
I chuckled, marvelling at how easy he was about it all. “Absolutely.” I started toward him, but he threw up a hand, stopping me in my tracks. “Stay right where you are.”
The order made me smile, but I did as I was told, while Thaddeus, keeping his eyes fixed on mine, wriggled onto his knees and began to peel his clothes off, one piece at a time. A slow, sexy striptease that had my dick straining against my jeans.
He drew his T-shirt over his head, extended his arm slowly to the side, and dropped it on the floor. I swallowed hard, my eyes glued to every languid movement as he slid both hands across his chest and then down his belly, his fingers grazing the dark, happy trail that disappeared into the waistband of his new jeans, leaving me salivating for more.
He licked the fingers of his right hand and circled each of his dark nipples, pulling and squeezing the nubs before brushing his palm over the sensitive flesh, his head tipping back, a soft moan falling from his lips. It was all I could do not to pounce on him right then and there, my cock full and aching in my briefs.
Returning his gaze to mine, Thaddeus snagged the uninjured corner of his pouty bottom lip between his teeth and proceeded to undo the buttons on his jeans, one at a time. When he was done, he rolled the jeans and his briefs down over his hips and legs and disposed of them on the floor, leaving him stark naked on the bed,mybed.
He wriggled slowly to a stand and opened his hands, beckoning me closer. The mottled bruising from his seatbeltshadowed his chest, more green than blue in the fading afternoon light. His lip was beginning to swell, a stain of blood still fresh along his jaw, his cock bobbing invitingly right in front of me.
