She was really opinionated about a lot of ridiculous things.
“Youaregoing to be a nuisance with it and you don’t need another distraction in your life.” Her bossiness was starting to come out. She should’ve slept more or just not gone to sleep yet. One of those would’ve made her a happier person.
“I like distractions.” They made working fun. How else would I get that rush of panic that hit when I realized how far behind I was? “Okay, how do I respond? Should I answer their questions about Teddy first or ask if they’ve read my backlist?”
I had to sound logical with my response or they’d think I was as flaky as I actually was.
“Neither. Wasn’t he going to help clean your house? Did they say what their name was? Pronouns? Ask him about his schedule. Does he dust? Does she mop? Will they help you go through that closet?”
I knew I shouldn’t have walked through the house when we’d been on a video call.
“That seems kind of rude.” No foreplay at all. “I want whoever it is to like me.”
Maybe him.
Maybe her.
“They’ve just got initials in their email, but I’m good either way.” I was pan, so it didn’t matter. “I’m sure they’ll be a lot of fun to talk to.”
And hopefully hot and slightly bossy?
“I don’t like the tone in your voice. You’re not dating them, so it doesn’t matter.” She sighed when I just made an agreeing hum. “Tell me you understand you’re not living in a dirty romance novel.”
I would do no such thing.
“When they show up and turn out to be eighty and areget off my lawngrumpy, then I will tell you that I’m not living in a romance novel.” Until that point, I was going to pretend to be living in a romance novel.
“Just think of the inspiration.” Maybe I could turn my life into a Christmas book? “I’ll get so much done.”
She snorted.
“That wasn’t ladylike. What if your husband hears you?” Thankfully, Lori had been married forever, so I didn’t have to worry about the fact that she was bossy and attractive.
“He’s making coffee and he knows I’m talking to you, so anything short of curses won’t surprise him.”
She had the weirdest marriage.
“Wait. Coffee?”
What time was it?
Oh.
“I know the sound of that silence. You haven’t gone to bed yet, have you?” She kept grumbling before I could find a convincing lie. “You’re only sober because it’s been so long since we got off the phone. Goddamn it.”
Ugh.
I needed to learn to lie faster.
“What kind of chores do you think books are worth? I don’t want to be greedy.” But I needed help and I’d gone through three cleaning services in the past year.
I was at the point of hoping an alien landed or figuring out how to find the time to do it myself.
No.
Aliens would work fine.
Her groan said she wasn’t in the mood to be helpful.
