Lights flicker across the city, turning skyscrapers and soaring buildings from simple structures of chrome and streel into glittering towers that stand out against the encroaching night. A sight that normally brings an immense sense of satisfaction, a visual reminder of how far I’ve come.
There’s no satisfaction now. No quiet thrill of pride, no happiness. There’s…nothing.
When Randolph told me he didn’t want to get involved with New Field, I was furious. Sharing that fury with Seraphina, letting her see me on the verge of losing control, wasn’t an option. Had I just asked for time and space to process, she would have given it to me. Instead, I shut her out completely, reiterated my stupid rules and drove her away.
Just more evidence that her leaving was the best thing for both of us. She deserves someone who will be able to let down their guard, love her the way she loves so fiercely.
My fingers curl into fists in my pockets. The thought of her offering that love to someone else makes my vision blur. The possibility of her saying another man’s name, of taking him to her bed and parting her legs for him—
I turn away from the window. The only reason I managed to survive on the streets was because I suppressed everything. I didn’t think about the people Dominic, Cassian and I stole from as humans, I thought of them as targets. Not feeling helped us survive. I could function for the first time since the raspy echoes of Mom’s final breaths, followed by that long, single beep, ended my childhood. Melanie’s betrayal sealed my heart behind the walls I’d already started to build. I turned into someone cold, ruthless.
The door flies open. I whirl around, then growl as Dominic and Cassian saunter in.
“Whoa.” Cassian holds up his hands. “Chill, bro.”
“What are you doing here?”
Dominic raises one brow. “We were supposed to meet here for dinner?”
I grab the back of my neck and try to massage out some of the tension that’s turned it into a stiff board. No luck.
“I forgot.”
“You, Aiden Hawke, the most organized man in New York, forgot?” Cassian plops into my chair and puts his feet up on my desk, grinning when I glare at him. He glances down at my desk. I make it halfway across the room before he picks up the copy of the job listing.
“Executive assistant?”
I rip the paper out of his hand. “None of your concern. Are we going to dinner or what?”
“First,” Cassian says as he rises and heads toward my liquor cabinet, “we’re having a drink and you’re telling us why you’re suddenly in need of a new assistant.”
“No.”
Cassian ignores me as he pulls out three glasses and my most expensive brandy. Dominic slowly walks over, hands tucked casually in his pockets.
“Did you two have a fight?”
The quiet calm in his voice banishes my anger, leaving me empty once again.
“Not really a fight. Seraphina and I realized we weren’t right for each other.” I turn away and look back out over the city. “The engagement’s off.”
“Here.” Cassian pushes a glass into my hand.
“Thanks.”
I want to toss back the entire glass, want the burn of alcohol and the blessed mercy of forgetting for just a while. But I’m not about to cede control now when I need it the most.
“The New Field deal fell through. I pushed Seraphina away. She gave me back the engagement ring.”
Dominic’s eyes widen a fraction. The smallest gesture that speaks volumes for a man who is even more adept than I am at concealing his emotions.
“Yeah.” My grin is humorless as I glance at Cassian. “I messed up. You were right. The engagement was fake. One of my clients threatened to walk if I didn’t settle down. I had a big deal on the line with him, and once those photos hit the press, Seraphina agreed to help me.” I raise my glass and take another drink. “Something changed between us. I got to see another side of her and I liked it. I liked it a lot.”
Cassian snorts. “Like’s not the word I would use.”
“Well, you’re not me,” I snap back. “If I was capable of loving her back, I would.”
Dominic puts a hand on my shoulder. “You care about her, Aiden.”
