“I do. I didn’t know that’s who they were.” Scorching heat rose to press behind her eyes.
“No one did except Trude. Otto was with you on that trip. He didn’t usually come, but he was there. Your mother didn’t know how to refuse to allow you to play with them without arousing his suspicions. My cousin had no idea, but after I heard about it, I suggested they sell the property. Your mother stopped bringing you so it became moot.”
Mira looked at her hands and twisted them together, feeling cheated.
“In any case, that’s how I met Trude. We often stayed in my cousin’s house when we visited from Australia. Back when people actually used their holiday homes instead of renting them to strangers over the internet.” His tone lightened. “When the grapevinewasthe internet. Trude and Claudina chatted many times over the fence. They were always laughing about something.”
Mira couldn’t help a tiny smile of wistfulness as he shared that memory of her mother.
Winola knocked and came in with a tray of cups and a carafe of coffee, glancing at Mira as though she could feel the mist of mixed emotions on the air.
Mira nodded jerkily that it was okay for her to leave everything on the low table. Winola closed the door on her way out.
Mira poured for both of them, then doctored her own with lots of cream and sugar.
Silvio left his black and set aside his hat to pick up the cup and saucer.
“I happened to be visiting alone when your mother and I… It was one afternoon, Mira. May I call you that?”
She snorted and shrugged. He was herfather.
“Thank you.” He set his cup back on the table without tasting it and clasped his hands, leaning forward. “Your mother and I were both going through a difficult time. My father was dying. He wanted me to move back to Italy to take over the family business. Manufacturing. Our plants had survived the war. I couldn’t let them languish, couldn’t sell them when I had family here that relied on their jobs there. Claudina didn’t want to come. Her family had emigrated from Italy before she was born. All her family is in Australia. Our eldest had just started school. My business there was doing well enough that she couldn’t see leaving the life we’d built to start over here. We were fighting constantly. I came here to see my father, fearful I would never see him again. It was offseason, but Trude was at her villa. She leant a compassionate ear, then told me her own troubles, that her husband was having an affair and she had lost three pregnancies.”
“Oh!” Mira’s cup rattled against her saucer. She set it down. “I never knew that about her.”
“I don’t think she had ever told anyone except Otto. She was desolate. She didn’t love her husband, but she wanted to be a mother. Your grandfather was still alive and their marriage contract made divorce very costly and complicated. She didn’t feel she had any choice but to stay married. We were comforting each other and one thing led to another. It wasn’t anything we planned or intended to continue. I thought she was kind and beautiful and I liked her a great deal. I felt very close to her that day, but I love my wife, Mira. I went back to Australia immediately, sick with myself for jeopardizing my marriage when it meant so much to me.”
“Then Mom became pregnant.”
“She did. And she told me as soon as she found out, but she said she would probably miscarry so I shouldn’t worry.” His brow wrinkled in anguish. “When she carried you to term, I couldn’t fault her for not considering other options. She wanted you so badly. She loved you very much.”
Oh, Mama, Mira thought with despair. How heartbreaking to be stuck in a loveless marriage and go through so much loss.
“I saw you once, asleep in your cradle,” Silvio said with a reflective smile. “I felt exactly as I had with each of my children—grateful and proud and filled with immediate love.”
She was afraid to look at him. Afraid to know whether that was really true.
“I hated myself for cheating on my wife, but I couldn’t regret that I’d made you, or the joy you had brought to your mother. She said Otto believed you were his, but I did what I thought was right. I set up a trust for you. At the time, everything seemed very tidy. You and your mother had everything you needed. I was able to go back to my life with Claudina and pretend I’d never stepped out on her.”
“She must be upset, learning you’ve been hiding this for so long.” Rocco had kept this secret from her for far less time and she was devastated by his betrayal.
“She is very hurt,” he acknowledged solemnly. “But she knows where I’ve slept every night since it happened because it’s always been beside her.”
“You think she’ll forgive you?” she asked. How?
“I hope so. I know the affair was wrong. I know it was wrong to hide it. It was very wrong of me to ask Rocco to carry that secret. I unburdened myself at his expense.”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” Her voice scorched her throat.
“I had no idea that Otto had discovered so long ago that he wasn’t your father, Mira.” Regret weight heavily in his voice. “Did Trude know that he was cruel to you?”
“She protected me from it.” She pressed her lips together to keep them from trembling, but she could feel her chin crinkling along with her brow. “It was worse after she died. I think Otto must have seen the paperwork in the safe in Praiano. I didn’t understand what I’d done to deserve the way he was treating me.”
“Nothing,”Silvio said with quiet vehemence. He hitched forward and reached out a hand toward her. “I refuse to call you a mistake, Mira. I have made many, including not coming into your life until now, but you are not a mistake. There is nothing wrong withyou.”
She didn’t take his hand. She looked away, but she appreciated the words.
And she thought she understood why Rocco had chosen to keep this man’s secret rather than condemn him. He wasn’t a bad person. He was actually very kind.
