‘You decide.’
Poppy realised that they really had no choice, not for a significant birth like this. ‘OK, yes, please.’
The doctor looked at them both and said, ‘Well, then, I’m delighted to let you know you’re having a little girl.’
Poppy let out an involuntary sound of happiness, putting her hand to her mouth. Caius said hoarsly, ‘A girl?’
The doctor nodded. ‘Yes. Congratulations.’ She wiped the gel off Poppy’s belly and turned the lights back on. She said, ‘I’ll leave you to take it in. I’ll be outside when you’re ready.’
She left the room and Poppy pulled her top down. Caius still looked a little shell-shocked. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. ‘Caius?’
He looked at her, dazed. Something occurred to her and she felt a little sick. Why hadn’t she thought of it before? Her hands tightened on the edge of the bed. ‘You’re disappointed it’s a girl.’
He looked at her, unseeing for a moment and then, with comprehension dawning, ‘What?’
Poppy stood up. ‘You wanted a boy?’ She’d been so blind, she’d never even considered this.
Caius’s eyes narrowed on her as if hearing her thoughts. ‘No, Poppy.No.I am not your father. I don’t share his prejudice about gender. It just…wasn’t what I was expecting.’
She felt vulnerable. ‘Do you mean it? You don’t mind? I’m changing the law in Valdere so a girl can rule if she’s the firstborn.’
She wanted him to reach for her, touch her, but he stayed back. He shook his head. ‘Of course I don’t mind. All that matters is that they’re healthy and happy.’
Words she’d not expected to hear coming out of Caius’s mouth. Now she felt wrong-footed. As if she’d disappointed him with her misjudgement.
They left the room and the doctor reassured them again that all was well and told them to let her know if they needed anything else.
Caius was silent on the journey back to the apartment. When the car pulled up outside the building he said, ‘I’m going to go into the office. I’m not sure how late I’ll be.’
Poppy nodded. ‘OK.’ And then she stopped. ‘Caius, I’m sorry that I assumed you wouldn’t want a girl. It wasn’t fair.’
‘No, but it’s understandable after your experiences.’
She got out of the car and then watched as it left again, merging into the Manhattan traffic heading downtown. She hated to admit she felt she needed more reassurance. But Caius had gone somewhere else in his head, somewhere she had no access to.
It reminded her of the impenetrable wall around her father and the way he’d never give an inkling as to what he was thinking because he didn’t think Poppy’s opinion was required or valid.
Poppy hated that Caius’s response was triggering her. As he’d said, he wasn’t her father. No. But he obviously also had the ability to make her feel shut out. And she’d let that happen because she’d lowered her guard and let him under her skin.
Poppy told herself she was glad now that he hadn’t witnessed this little moment of neediness. Maybe this seismic experience of seeing the baby made flesh—a little girl—and being back in his old milieu of a glamorous metropolis would remind Caius of what he’d given up and that Poppy wasn’t as tempting as she’d been in Valdere.
And maybe, that would be for the best.
Chapter Nine
MUCH LATER THAT EVENING, Caius returned to a quiet and darkened apartment. A few low lights were on. No sign of Poppy. He’d sent her a message earlier to let her know not to wait up.
He slipped off his jacket and went to stand at one of the windows that displayed only the darkness of the park—a ring of lights in buildings around it.
He could still see Poppy’s worried expression on her face as he’d left earlier. She knew he’d been freaked.She’d believed that he wouldn’t want a girl.That had hit him like a punch to the gut, that she would put him in the same category as her toxic father.
And yet he got it. He understood. But for a second, he’d been hurt. And the realisation that she had the power to hurt him was more shocking than the scan experience and hearing that rapid heartbeat of his daughter. Or that image of her curled in the womb, utterly vulnerable and dependent.
Just looking at his daughter on that monitor earlier had roused a feeling like a balloon expanding in his chest, so much so that he could hardly breathe.
Until today the baby had been this abstract concept, but not any more. She was there. She existed. She would exist. He’d found himself wondering if she would have Poppy’s distinctive hair. Maybe his eyes?
He’d felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility and fear, which he’d felt only once before when he’d realised that his parents weren’t capable of caring for him or his sister, and that he was the only one his sister could count on, and ultimately he’d let her down. Would he inevitably do it again to his own daughter? In spite of his best efforts?
