“Yes, I am,” I respond, and then take a seat two chairs away from him, to be inflammatory, because I might not turn it into a war, but I may make it a small skirmish.
“I find you ungrateful,” he says.
I am stunned into silence. All I can do is stare at him with my mouth dropped open. “You find…me…ungrateful?”
“Yes,” he says. “You are entirely ungrateful. I had all those books sourced for you, and those shelves built in a mere few hours. You have any idea all the work that went into that?”
“You didn’t do the work. Point me in the direction of the people on your staff who did it and I will send them a thank you.”
“It was my idea,” he says.
“It is also your idea to prevent me from doing the thing that I truly want to do with my life.”
“It was your idea to submit yourself to this marriage,” he says.
I can say nothing to that because he’s correct, damn him.
“Would you like me to swap you out for your sister? Because there is still time. And if you think that I won’t because of public perception, then I need you to stop and think about me. About all the things that I’m willing to let the public believe. Do you think that I care about my image?”
“I thought that this marriage was about improving your image.”
“There’s still time to commit a few acts of villainy before then, surely.”
I don’t know what to say to that. Because I don’t want him to go and take my sister away from her happy life. Because I don’t want…
I still don’t want to trade places with her. And for some reason, the idea of leaving…
It makes me feel strange. Makes me feel like I would be leaving behind a project that I was in the middle of, and I really hate that thought, even if I don’t understand why.
“Why do you care at all then?” I ask, my voice a near whisper.
I meet his gaze, those ice-blue eyes making me shiver. He makes me feel something I can’t readily define and I don’t know what to do with that at all. I want to run from him and draw closer at the same time.
“There is a time to move forward into the future,” he says. “That time is now. Alabria needs more. Better. It can’t happen as long as we’re isolated.”
“But you would keep me isolated.”
“I would keep you safe.”
“I don’t want to be a prisoner.”
“It isn’t a prison.”
“No. It’s a cage. How is that different?”
“It is entirely different. Don’t be disingenuous. If a bird flies free in the sky, it might be eaten by a hawk. But it can also be put into an aviary, and kept beautifully. Its life will be longer for its captivity. And it will be cared for.”
“And will you clip its wings?”
“If the wings must be clipped in order to ensure its safety. Then yes.”
“There is one problem, though. That means you think you know better than the bird. That you’re smarter. Better. More powerful.”
“If we’re talking about you now, I don’t believe that I’m smarter. But I do know more about this world that you find yourself in. I know more about the threats that exist out there.”
“We aren’t at war anymore,” I say.
His face goes hard. “We do not need wars for death to find us.” He says nothing for a long moment. “You know, I was tortured quite extensively when I was captured. And yes, it was a period of war. But I think you should know that there are people out there, regardless of their beliefs or what they attach themselves to, who simply enjoy inflicting pain. They attach their hatred to a cause, because then it makes them feel justified. But what they really enjoy is harming others. If one of those people were to get ahold of you, the things that they would do to you to get at me would be…” He touches the side of his face, and I can hear the gravity in his voice. “I hope that you never have any concept of what it feels like to experience your own skin melting. It is something you don’t forget. Even thirty years later.”
