Chapter Seven
I have neverliked parties. But here I am, dressed for one in which I am going to be the center, the focus. I put my hands on my stomach and look in the mirror. My hair is beautiful; my dress is the most glorious thing that I’ve ever seen.
Allison stands behind me and looks at me. “You are perfection.”
I can’t even dispute it. My hair is done in curls, with little golden butterflies clipped throughout, and the dress accentuates every asset I possess. All I can think of is the way that he looks at me. That icy gaze always watching. The tilt of his head. The sharp cut of his jaw, the ruined skin on his right, the perfection on his left.
What will he think of this?
I have never worried about such a thing. Whether or not a man found me beautiful. My stomach goes tight. I hate that I’m worrying about it now.
“Don’t look so anxious,” she says.
“I’m not used to things like this.”
“No one is. It’s a spectacle.”
I can’t argue with this. And I find myself somewhat mollified by the truth that everybody will be caught off guard by whatever it is that’s happening. He’s had one of these parties before, but not including the more common citizens of the country. And it didn’t result in a wedding.
But ours will.
I’m not going to run away.
The certainty that I feel in that is frightening.
I have signed myself away. And I fully intend to follow through.
Whether or not I want to.
When I set my mind to something, I don’t change it.
I gather up my courage, and look at myself one last time. “You are a miracle worker,” I say to Allison. “I’ve never cared about my beauty because I didn’t think it mattered. But…” I feel like I have to be honest, for the first time, even with myself. “My sister is much prettier than I am,” I whispered. “It made it feel pointless to care overmuch about my looks.”
“You are beautiful,” Allison says. “Every woman is. And certainly is allowed to be vain.”
I blink rapidly. I’m pleased that I’ve made this new friend, as alien as the entire situation is.
“Thank you.”
Though, as I walk from my chambers to the ballroom, I can’t help but wonder how I’ll fare when compared to my sister. She’ll be there tonight. It doesn’t take a team of people to make her look stunning.
And I feel awful, because Eve and I have never been in competition with each other. We have always gotten along very well, we’ve wanted different things and that has served us well.
But she was once intended to marry Lucian. Now I am. So I can’t help but feel as if I will be put in direct comparison to her.
In some traditions Lilith is the first wife of Adam. Eve is ultimately his chosen bride.
What if he sees her and changes his mind? What if he sees what everyone does? That she’s the real beauty.
If she were to see Lucian…
If she saw what I did.
And if she wanted him? Why would that matter to you?
I think of the entire room filled with science books, my beautiful, well-designed cage. Why do I suddenly feel reluctant to leave it? And him?
Suddenly, I am being swarmed by staff members. All fussing over me as they lead me toward the ballroom. “You will be announced,” his chief aide says to me. “And you will be on your own.”
