He walked to the hotel reception completely unnecessarily, to make the order and wait for it. When he got back she was at the table, writing in her fat notebook.
He set the containers on the table. ‘Is it a diary?’
‘You think I’m pouring my feelings onto paper?’ Her smile was teasing but wariness lingered in her eyes.
He shook his head slowly. No, she kept them to herself. The only time he had any idea where he stood with her was when they were in bed. She flipped the notebook so he could see the pages. The graph paper was filled with sketches, equations, notes, reminders.
‘You make notes on the cars?’
‘You were right,’ she said. ‘I can’t work in a garage when I’m enormous. I’ll tip over. So I’m going to design racing cars and by that I don’t mean choose the livery colour scheme.’ She shot him a teasing smile. ‘I want to study engineering. I have to do a bridging course first, so it’s going to take a while, but I’m going to do it.’
‘I believe you.’ He had no doubt that one day people would pay millions to get their hands on her notebook. But she was talking aboutyearsof study. Especially if she did it part-time. The realisation pleased him immeasurably.
‘You can do all your internships at Hearnshawe,’ he said huskily. ‘Whichever division you want. We have all the toys. I can help.’
‘I know. Thank you.’
He gaped. This was a major breakthrough. The first glimmer of acceptance that their futures were entwined. Had it come only about because he’d told her about his parents? Had he manipulated her—albeit unintentionally? He never should have burdened her with the detail of his mother’s pregnancy. No one had ever needed to know the depths of that pain. He’d not done it to try to convince her to accept him. Honestly, he still didn’t know how it had spilled out. Suddenly hot, his skin prickled.
‘Don’t concede anything because you feel sorry for me. Because of what I said. I just don’t want this child to go through any…’
He’d wanted her to understand why he’d been freaked out by her driving in the rain. Why he felt the bone-deep need to protect her and the baby. Why he needed to damned well dobetter.
She moved nearer. ‘It’s helped me understand why you feel such responsibility for everything. I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me. But it doesn’t change my view on what we should do in our future.’ Her gaze melted. ‘You don’t need to feel more guilt, Massimo. We’ll just have to work harder to reach a compromise.’
‘How are we going to do that when you’re more stubborn than a mule?’
Her radiant smile appeared. ‘And you’re more determined than a donkey?’
He couldn’t smile back. The brief balm her quietly empathetic support had given him before was washed away by a wave of bitterness and self-recrimination. He’d not been entirely honest with her. The fact that he’d not confessed why he’d been on that cargo plane nagged. He ignored it. That secret he had to keep. He couldn’t risk losing her trustnow. She still believed she wasn’t suitable and knowing he’d once been suspicious would hardly help. Maybe he would show her how well she could fit within his world.
‘I’ve been invited to a party in the city tomorrow night,’ he muttered. ‘That white number you wore at the team party would be perfect.’
‘Would it?’ She shot him an arch look. ‘So you’re dictating both my attendance and my dress?’
Yeah, he’d known she’d bite at that. But she’d already said she had little to wear and he wasn’t making the mistake of offering to buy her an outfit. Surely, she wasn’t insecure in herself in being seen with him. ‘Honestly, anything would be perfect but as you’re determined to pretend you can’t handle social occasions, I was trying to reassure you.’
‘I don’t need reassurance.’
‘Great, so you’ll come with me.’
‘You’re deliberately provoking me.’
‘Is it working?’
She studied her notebook. ‘Will there be dancing?’
‘I’ll dance with you whether there’s music or not.’ The selfish, impetuous, hothead within just wanted a little more time with her.
‘Okay, then.’
He should have been pleased. He should have felt satisfaction that she was beginning to accept his offerings, that maybe soon she’d sayyes. Instead, he only felt increasing stress. He pulled her closer, silencing his brain by activating his body.
‘Am I getting a bonus because I said yes to you?’ She called him on it.
‘No.I’mgetting a bonus because I haven’t the strength to resist.’
Chapter Ten
