“And of course you had to bring her home. So… is she terribly poisonous or something?”
“Not at all! You have to carry her around and just point her at Karl so she can eat him with her tongue!”
“So this is the only instakill card in the game?”
“Nope! That’s the slipper.”
“What?”
“Yeah, read the fine print when you see the card. It says, ‘This game was invented by an Asian.’”
“What does that even mean?”
Arienna shrugs and looks at Fabia.
Lifting her chin, her bestie says, “I researched Earth stuff for a book once, and the slipper is the most feared weapon in Asia.”
“A slipper,” Nicholas repeats, not convinced.
“Did you research it like you did monster fucking?” Jace snickers. He looks at me with a wide grin. “Did you know she was a monster fucker?”
I tilt my head to the side. “Makes sense.”
“Oh my gods! I am not a monster fucker.” She throws one of the mini dildos at Jace even as she glares at my wife.
“You’re not?” Nicholas asks in surprise.
She grits her teeth.
“Wait, why are you glaring at me!” Arienna asks.
“Because you told everyone I was a monster fucker at dinner tonight!”
“No, I did not!”
“‘She’sveryexperiencedin monster fucking,’” Fabia says flatly.
“‘I once caught her going at it with a yondu,” Jace quips. “‘Can you imagine her rolling around with one?’”
“I wish I hadn’t,” my brother mutters, and Fabia turns bright red.
“Wait, you imagined her havingsexwith a yondu? I meant she was fighting it!”
The whole room falls silent.
Then –
“You did what!?” Nicholas roars. “Do you know how dangerous that is!”
“Not very! Because I fought off six of them, and Iwon.”
“Oh my gods, woman! You have the survival instinct of a zombie ant!”
“You have the charm of an asshole.”
“Oh, wow, what an insult,” he says sarcastically. “A lot of people like anal.”
I cough, not having expected that to come out of my brother’s mouth.
