“No.”
“Then get out.”
Ignoring me, he digs a gosberry out of his tunic. Trying to ignore him, I circle parts of the map I think she might be. With each O, I glance at Jace, looking for some sign that the place I marked is correct.
But the bastard’s face never changes.
And the pen eventually snaps in my hand.
It’s been three days, and no one will tell me where she is. I have searched every nook and cranny in this fucking castle, including the tunnels. I have walked the markets and visited Gnox’s bakery, as well as the homes and businesses of all the people she talked to in the Throne Room. I even forced my way into Warress Fahy’s home, threatening the staff with treason if they didn’t let me in.
But everywhere I go, Jace trails behind me, being the biggest fucking nuisance. Even now, in Aurelia’s Library, the most sacred place in all the Seven Planes, he’s being an utterass.
“Oh, he definitely won’t torture you if you help hide her,” he says cheerfully as I glare at the librarian, trying to bully her into talking. “Feel free to tell him to shove his nose up his ass – this is the one time you’ll be able to insult the king without consequence.”
She blinks at us, then moves her hands quickly in front of her, signing words I don’t know. I curse as I storm away. She’s fucking deaf. Great. Of course she is. Although I could try writing my questions out to her, I know it won’t be of any use.
I might be Raza’s king, but it’s my damn bodyguard who has everyone wrapped around his finger. The charismatic little shit.
The only reason I haven’t locked him in the dungeons is because he’s assured me he’s working with Evangeline to keep her safe. Now that word’s leaked about how easily I can be swayed if someone threatens her, all my enemies are fucking targeting her.
“Gods fucking dammit,” I seethe as Jace joins me outside. My skin feels too tight across my bones, and I step farther away from the doors of the library. I haven’t been in there since I finished building it with Jace and Nicholas. I want to get away, to find somewhere I can fuckingbreathe, but I don’t know which direction to go.
My queen has all my air. All my peace. And I’ve fucking lost her.You chased her away, asshole.
You should’ve stopped.
You should’ve fucking stopped when she called her safe word.
I run a hand through my hair. Then spin towards Jace. “Tell me where she is. That’s a fucking order.”
“She’s in Gaera.”
“Jace.”
“No.”
“I’ll ban fucking cake.”
He looks at me in horror. “How many people are having sex with cake for you to need to ban fucking it?”
My jaw tightens.
He grins.
I breathe heavily. Unable to think of anything else to say, I snap, “I’m being serious.”
He grins. Then laughs. “Some things are worth losing. And if I lose cake so you don’t lose her, then so be it.”
Fuck. Now I want to throttle him as much as I want to slug him in the shoulder and pretend that didn’t hit me in the feels. “I’ve already lost her,” I say raggedly.
“No, you haven’t. But if you go all caveman on her and carry her back to the castle, you’ll be doing the exact same thing that chased her off to begin with. You need to trust her, Dickie.”
“She’s a brownie.”
“Remind me who managed to poison you again?”
My jaw tightens, but I don’t bring up my sister and how even she couldn’t handle this life. Not to him. I know how much he’s fucking suffering beneath that charming smile. The anniversary of her death is in only a few days, and unlike every year before, I can’t focus on it with him. Can’t grieve with him. He’s alone because I’m a fucking mess.
