“We can’t chance that, Amber. It’s too risky.” The thought of trying to sneak through my coach’s phone was so fucked up.I couldn’t risk it—not with my scholarship and the season. The weight of letting my team down was too strong. “There’s no way I could pull that off. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t feel bad. I could probably do it the next time I see my uncle but there’s no guarantee either I’ll find anything we could use or he won’t catch on. I’ve admired my uncle most of my life for his quick wit and how he handles my mom. He’s intelligent and if he really is a huge part of this scandal, well, he’ll make sure he’s covering every track.”
“Noteveryone. Look how much we know.”
We shared a brief look of pride, I’d like to think. These assholes were taking real sports on athletic teams away from people who needed them, like Jaime Smith, and we were uncovering small pieces that hopefully added up to their exposure. Amber leaned back against the headboard and closed her eyes. “I’m going to have to talk to my uncle at some point about all of this, but I want to make sure we have every angle we can think of… Have you thought about what happens when your coach finds out?”
Have I?
“No. But I need to start thinking about it, soon.”
I avoided it at all costs and the thought of confronting him had my gut filling with acid. There could possibly be an investigation, suspension, our final season on the team without our coach.Can I do that to the rest of the guys? What will they do if they know I had a part in it?The uncertainty and anger crept into the momentary content I had exploring Amber’s body. It was the same rage I’d had when I had stormed to her house and accused her of having a part in it all. It struck me I’d never officially apologized for it. She had proven herself countless times since then and a ball of shame also took shape in my gut.I’m just a pathetic glass case of emotion, aren’t I?
“Amber,” I said, pulling her attention away from wherever she escaped in her mind. “I’m sorry I accused you of being a part of this entire thing. You clearly aren’t and I don’t have any excuse.”
“Thank you for saying it.” She gave me a half-smile, her full lips curving up on one side of her cute face. “It’s crazy that was only a couple of weeks ago.”
I could’ve agreed with her, changed the subject, kissed her, hell, I could’ve done any of those but instead, I asked, “Do you forgive me?”
“Hm,” she said, twisting her lips to the other side of her mouth. “Maybe. Answer one question for me.”
“Anything.” The need for her to forgive was essential and I had no idea why. Her saying maybe wasn’t enough. “Ask me anything.”
“Be honest, okay? Why did you jump so quickly to the conclusion I was involved in it?” She dropped her gaze to a piece of fuzz on my bed and picked at it with her fingers.
Her shoulders slumped and she guarded her face—as though she expected my answer before I said it. I felt like the world’s biggest asshole when I thought about why it had been so easy to blame her and point all my anger at her. Was it because it was easier than accepting the truth? “Look, I judged you without knowing you and that’s all on me. We had a class together freshman year and you skipped all the time, then the whole drug thing spread pretty fast among the freshmen. It was easier for me to blame you the second I learned Martin Rhett was your uncle.”
“Yeah,” she mumbled, still not looking at me. The pressure in my chest built to the point of pain and I hated how defeated she looked.
“I’m in the wrong here, not you. You don’t get to be sad when I’m the asshole. Okay? You’re incredible and I’m pissed atmyself I didn’t get to know you sooner.” I waited for her to smile or show some sign of relief at my words, but nothing came. I reached for her chin and tilted her face up to mine. Her large eyes held a little sadness and something I couldn’t decipher. “You are fucking awesome and I hate that I played any part in you thinking you’re not.”
She smiled shyly and a spark returned to her eyes. “Well, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Stand up for yourself sometimes, Henderson. I’m appreciative that you gave me a chance after I was such a dick.”Is it because she has it bad for me? Could that still play a part? Do I want her to have a thing for me?
Woah.Not the time for those thoughts when Amber clearly had a confidence issue that I’d played a part in sustaining.Support her. Be her friend.
She let out a small chuckle and pointed her finger at my chest. “The only reason I gave you a chance was to prove you wrong. I’m untalented at anything athletic but apparently I’m super-competitive. You made me so mad that day, I wanted to punch or kick you.” She trailed off and gave me a dorky smile that showcased all her teeth. “And to think I had a huge crush on you.”
Had?
Past tense?
“Have, you mean?”
“Had,” she fired back with a teasing glint in her eye. “You ruined the illusion of Jeff Maddow that day you told me I was unremarkable.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry?—”
“You’re forgiven now.” She patted my face this time and slid out of the bed, moving to put on her tights. “Plus, after sleeping with you, I know I wasn’t missing anything.”
“You take that back.” I jumped from the bed and within a second had my arms around her, preventing her from leaving. “Are you trying to rile me up right now? Because it’s working. I’m competitive too, babe, and I will show you what you were missing.”
Her answer was to lean into me and have her lips linger an inch away from mine. “I need to head out, but rain check.”
18
AMBER
