What?I stare at him incredulously. “Are you insane? You’re like a brother to me. My safe place. What is wrong with you? How did you know where to find me?” The questions keep coming out like word vomit.
He grabs the back of my hair and kisses me again. I love this man, but this is not right. I shove at him, and he releases me. His movements make me fall toward the bed. He grabs the back of my shirt I refused to take off. I yank away from him, and Kronos’s shirt rips from my body. I yelp in distress as I try to cover myself. This must be an alternate universe. Haydes would never do this to me. I tell myself to wake up, but as I open my eyes and look at Haydes, fear rolls through me.
“What the fuck did they do to you?” His voice is low and terrifying. It’s as if he is holding himself together by a thin thread. I don’t understand what is going on here. Tears are running down my face as I scramble to get away from him.
“They carved you. Those mother fuckers fucking carved you!” he roars the words out before leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. I crawl into the bed, devastated, and confused.
“Please,” I whisper through my tears. Please let this just be a bad dream.
* * *
I’m not fortunateenough for this to have been a dream. Haydes hasn’t been back in my room, and I’m grateful. I’m not sure if I could handle him confusing me again. He left all the food. So, I ate it. I’m lucky to have a bathroom attached to my room as well. I really don’t want to pee in a bucket.
I’ve tried to yank the bars off the window. All that did was wear me out. I’m scared—the house is too quiet. There’s no hum of an air conditioner or buzz of a television. Did he leave me here to rot?
To be honest, I’m all right with him not coming back into my room again. If he’s going to be this new version of himself, I don’t trust him. I get up and walk over to the closet. I choose an outfit that will be soft against my back and cool to wear in the heat of the room.
While bathing, I wonder if Kronos, Hypnos, and Ayres are looking for me. I probably need my head examined, but I kind of miss them.
When I get out of the shower, I put on the jersey tunic and pull on the yoga pants. I couldn’t find panties or a bra. Not that it matters. My body is covered, and I am clean. I bite my lip in contemplation on how to get out of this room.
“Haydes?” I call out in hopes he can hear me, but I’m met with silence. Well, if he will not answer, I’ll just have to make enough racket for him to let me out.
"Dead to Me” by Kali Uchis comes out of my mouth. I sing, trying to pass the time. It’s the only thing I can do. There’s nothing in this room to keep me occupied.
“Little bird, is there a reason you’re making all that noise?”
I halt my singing and turn around to face him. He’s holding a bloody knife and has blood all over the front of him. A flashback to the night Hypnos carved my back flashes through my mind. My hand goes up to my neck.
“I…”
Haydes walks closer to me, and I back up into the corner of the room.
“Oh God, you…” I shake my head no. He’s going to carve me, too. I tremble, trying to keep calm.
“No, I'm not going to hurt you.” He stays a few feet away from me and continues. “I’m chopping some steaks. Killed a deer and needed to get us something good to eat. Chill out. If you’ll be my smart little bird like always, I’ll let you out of this room.”
Something in me wants to retort and tell him I’m only a good girl for Kronos, but my brain makes me stay quiet. I nod my head solemnly, swallowing to keep down the bile floating upward. I feel I may have jumped the gun. Maybe Haydes didn’t mean his kiss, and it was just a brotherly thing he did to welcome me home. I straighten my shoulders and give him a small smile.
“Good, now come on. I’m making all your favorites. Beef tips and noodles, baked zucchini fritters, a fresh fruit salad, and peach cobbler.”
That sounds so much better than starving. I whisper, keeping small. “Thank you.” He lets me walk in front of him. This is the Haydes I knew. The one that always made me feel cared for. I erase the thought of the kiss out of my mind. It was just a heated moment.
I hope.
“What Kronos?”I looked at my eldest brother—my best friend. He’s black and blue, blood dripping from his forehead.
“That fuck face Haydes nearly got me killed tonight. I don’t give a damn if he saved Ayres or not. The rat bastard cannot follow simple orders.”
I cringed under Kronos’s wrath. Tonight, was supposed to be an easy shipment drop off, and it turned into a cluster fuck. It didn’t matter that with the help of Haydes we obtained all the Cuban’s stash of drugs and the Cartel’s guns. He didn’t follow the plan and got us in deep water. We weren’t ready to cross the lines he has now blown away. It meant we’re now in the sex trade game, too. The damn bombs he set killed more people than we ever had before.
“So, they banged us up. He did us a favor.” Ayres came strutting into my office. Mud, blood, and who knows what else caked on him.
“That’s not the fucking point, Ayres. Did you disobey a direct order?” Kronos yelled. Fuck, things were about to get ugly.
“No. I didn’t. But big brother, you, me, and Hypnos were supposed to take those suckers down and get into their territory. Haydes just did it faster.”
“I want him out of the organization. We lost thirty men tonight. He’s a loose cannon and we can’t afford that.”
