“Are you…” I cannot finish my statement.
“Not as long as you're my good little bird. We won’t have to have a repeat of yesterday.”
He pushes my hair out of the way and bends down. His lips touch my forehead. I don’t understand what he’s doing. Why is he being so nice? I want to feel safe again with him. To not feel fear when he touches me. I’m scared to believe that this is real.
“Get up and change your clothing. Let’s get some food and then we can make sure your back has some medication on it.”
No point in arguing. I nod my head in agreement. What else can I do? Maybe I can pretend that nothing is wrong. When Haydes leaves, I do what he tells me. I get up and put on a gray dress with orange specks on it. This should make Haydes happy.
Walking into the kitchen, I freeze. I can only see the counter and the zucchinis. My palms become sweaty. Trembling, I take a deep breath
“Have a seat.” Haydes puts a plate on the table. I sit down, trying to stay calm. I take the first bite even though my hand shakes. I’m deep within my thoughts, wondering how I can sit here with him.
“Charlotte?”
I blink and look up at him. “What?”
“I was asking if your food is good.”
Laughter comes out of me. Is he really this delusional? I don’t answer. I can’t.
“I want you to be happy here with me."
My mouth opens before I can stop myself. My temper rises with each word. “No. I'm not delighted to be here. You…” I use the fork to stab him. I don’t know why I do it. But his betrayal has to be the main reason. “You raped me.” I jump from the chair and run to the bedroom.
Haydes doesn’t waste any time getting into the bedroom. The fork isn’t in his hand but it’s bleeding. I feel sick knowing I did that to him, but it doesn’t matter. He grabs me hard and shoves me against the wall.
“How dare you be ungrateful?” With one hand on my throat and the other against the wall, I can’t move far. I struggle to get the upper hand. “I got you away from those bastards. They took what was mine. And now you want to act likeI’mthe bad guy?”
I glare at him. “You’re no better than them.”
It’s stupid of me to goad him. I can’t help it. I’m tired and scared. Nothing makes sense anymore. With one last ditch effort, I struggle against him.
“Enough, Charlotte. You’re going to hurt yourself. Calm down.”
“No. I want my freedom.” I claw at him. The feeling of helplessness as he squeezes my throat tries to grip me. I refuse to be his puppet too. Looking him square in the eyes, I plead with him. “Please, Haydes.”
He doesn’t say another word as he turns us toward the bed. His hold against my throat is too strong to fight. Haydes pushes me down to the bed and stares at me as he bends over me.
“You want to play it like this, little bird? Ok, we can do it the hard way.” He reaches down under the bed and brings a large leather strap from underneath. I buck against him, and he glares at me. He lays the strap across my body and reaches up to my face, slapping me.
“You try to run again, and what I did to you with the damn zucchinis will be a walk in the park. Fucking be still.”
His threat isn’t empty. I gulp and lie there wondering how bad it can be. He walks around the bed and pulls out a second strap.
“Haydes, don’t…”
He grips my face and forces me to look him in the eyes. “I’m not interested in hearing what you have to say. One way or another, you are going to come to terms with the fact that you are mine. Now shut your fucking mouth, or I can shut it for you.”
I sink into myself, mentally. He buckles the two straps around my stomach then brings out two sets of cuffs. First one hand then the other is cuffed to the headboard.
“Let’s see how well you deal with nonstop fucking. Do you want to go back to those fuckers? I can give you everything you need. You’ll see.”
The sound of his zipper coming down settles within me. Reality sits in, harshly. He’s not my protector. He’s, my rapist.
* * *
It’s beentwo weeks here with Haydes. He’s taken me two times a day every day. After the first two full days of being strapped to the bed, except when Haydes let me up to go to the bathroom, he comes into the bedroom and puts an orange leather collar around my neck. He attached it to a chain that makes it long enough for me to walk around the bedroom. “You’re allowed to move around the bedroom.” He leaves me, and the first thing I do is take a shower.
