“Sure do. I remember a few years back she fell down the stairs and almost broke her arm at your birthday party.”
He laughs again and we talk for a little longer, but something isn't setting well with me about this. Sitting at the red light, I gnaw on my bottom lip, deep in thought. Maddie is always bubbly. No matter what’s going on or how she feels, she’s always full of life. Today she was like a damn zombie. I feel as though Donnie is lying to me. His hesitation seemed off, and he definitely has a tell when he’s lying. Nervous laughter.
What the hell is going on?
I wishI could have told Drew the truth about what’s going on at home. He’d never believe that my father and poster boy brother are evil. I’ve thought about what Drew said all day. Not that that's different, he’s always on my mind. I smile as I bite into my apple.He is so hot.If he knew I was crushing on him, he’d most likely have a cow. He's so far out of my league. Even though I know I shouldn’t, I dream about what it would be like to have him kiss me.
At lunch, I sit in the library and eat. The cafeteria is wheretheyare. The people I can’t stand. My brother comes in and stops at the librarian’s desk to flirt with Miss Hannigan. They’ve known each other forever. I think they have sex sometimes. My stomach is tight when he turns and sees me at the far corner table in the back of the library. Crap, he’s not here for Miss Hannigan. He walks over and sits down. His glare tells me he’s not happy.
Donnie grabs my hand, gripping it until I whimper. I take in a deep breath as he growls at me. He looks around to make sure no one is nearby and then he demands between clenched teeth. “What did you tell Drew?”
“I didn’t tell him anything, Donnie.” I clam up and try to keep myself small. The idea of him doing something in the library is preposterous, but I don’t put it past him to try.
My brother hates it when I don’t talk, but I’m telling him the truth. I look at his shaved head and see that it’s red. Yeah, he’s pissed at me. God, I don’t want to know what he’s going to do to me when I get home tonight.
“Then why did I get a call from him asking me if you are alright?”
I blanch. “I wasn’t very talkative this morning because of the pain.”
He grabs my hand and tugs me closer. “You’ve not seen pain yet, you little bitch.”
I try to dislodge his hold on me, and he squeezes my hand harder. “If you keep this up, Dad’s going to make you switch back to homeschooling. Remember last time?” He forces me to stand with him and he pushes my arm behind my back. I shake, my back is killing me. Fear runs down my spine as he moves us so we are out of the line of sight of Miss Hannigan.
“Donnie, please, we are at school, not here.” I don’t beg for him to stop. It never works. He does what he wants, when he wants, and I have to take it. After all, who is going to believe the daughter of the police chief is being abused?
He’s crowding my space and his hot breath hits my ear as he whispers, “When you get home, you better have dinner on the table. Don’t make me whip you again.” The idea of him whipping me here at school makes me blanch. I gulp, feeling my insides quiver with fear. I nod my head vigorously at him. Trying to keep it together and not cry, I lower my head.
“Ok, Donnie,” I whisper.
He moves my arm higher up my back. Jerking it so high my shoulder feels as if it's about to pop out of its socket. Excruciating pain radiates through my shoulder and up my neck. I can’t help but to scream behind his hand that’s now covering my mouth. No one can hear me, but I know Donnie does. He grips my face harder and digs his fingernails into my left cheek.
“Goddamn, you must really want that ass whipped. Stop trying to cause a scene. No one will help you, and if they do, I can make them disappear. Now fucking answer me properly, you cunt.”
He removes his hand from my mouth and lowers my arm. Tears well in my eyes. I refuse to let him see them, though. I nod my head in agreement that I’ll do what’s right.
“Yes, Donnie. I’ll be good and have dinner ready.”
He pats my ass and shoves me back into the chair. “Good little bitch.”
As he leaves, I breathe a little easier. I’m shaking as I gather my trash and leave the library. Donnie has violated my sanctuary. Head held high, I walk right in front of the school’s mean girls. They used to be my best friends. The in crowd. Not anymore.
“Oh look. It’s Maddie the fatty.”
“Nerd.”
“Weirdo.”
“Look, she’s finally got it. She’s actually covering up her nasty body.”
“Thank God! I was so tired of looking at her flab bouncing around.”
I keep walking. There’s no reason to let them know what they say hurts me. Hell no, fuck them all. I walk to my next class, thinking about how I won’t have to worry about a single one of them soon enough. They’ll all pay.
As I get into class, I sit down at my desk and open my notebook. No one is here yet since the bell hasn’t chimed. With irritation, I strike through the names of the ones I killed last night. With a manic need to kill the next person, I circle their name. I giggle into the empty room, whispering, “I’m coming for you, you son of a bitch.”
* * *
After school,I set the oven to preheat. The need to be clean overtakes me, and I go wash up. The sweat from the day washes down the drain as I mentally prepare what I need to do for tonight. I get out of the shower thinking about Drew and wonder if he’d like the way my body looks. I try to disregard the cuts, bruises, and old scars. A blush runs along my neck as I chuckle to myself.
