“When is the party?” I asked.
“In four days. There will be lots of people here. My father’s insistence. Musicians. At least a hundred guests.” Her eyes still held hope.
“That’s the night I’ll leave. With plenty of guests, they won’t be paying as close attention.”
“I understand.” She looked away, stroking Golden Angel, a dog that was perfect for her. She noticed I was watching their interactions. “She’s my support system. My entire world.”
“You’ll be taking her with you to college?”
“Yes. I have to. She’s also my support animal. Without her, my panic attacks would prevent me from being able to function. Don’t worry about me. I’m strong. I’ll survive. My father will not break me.”
“I know you will. I have faith.”
“At least someone does.”
To see tears in her eyes once again left me with the kind of ache that usually tortured a man. For me, they were a reminder that my presence was ill timed and harmful. She wasn’t about to fall apart in front of me, wiping the tears away.
“My father told me you murder people. Is he right?”
As before, her expression was one of optimism, but I refused to lie to her. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because if I didn’t, my enemies would come for me and my family.”
“You kill women and children?”
Her father had tried to paint me as a monster, hoping she would push aside whatever feelings had been born from resentment of her personal incarceration. In my mind, I knew the right thing to do and it pained me more than the twenty lashes crisscrossing my back.
“I do what’s necessary to keep my family protected and alive. I need you to hear me, Rafaela. Do not come back here. I appreciate all you’ve done, the food and water. The tools you brought me, but this is finished.”
“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me. I can handle protecting myself. From my father. From fucking Marco. From anyone.”
Jesus Christ. My entire body was shaking from the need to protect her. I could tell just how much she was under her father’s thumb. But that couldn’t be my issue.
This had to end, or she’d become a victim in all this. I hadn’t told her any lies. Maybe what I hadn’t done was to paint a picture vile enough for her to be able to break the strong, electric tether. When I gripped her chin, I used enough force she winced.
“What are you doing? You’re hurting me.”
“That’s what I do, Rafaela. I hurt people. I ensure that their lives are ruined then I exact the perfect revenge, enjoying every moment of making them feel excruciating pain. I’m not your boyfriend or even your friend. Do you understand me?”
“You’re just trying to make me hate you. I don’t believe you.” She fought in my hold while pummeling her fists against my chest. But I refused to let her go.
“No, I’m telling you the truth. This isn’t a romance,malen’kiy tselitel’. I’m not going to take you with me. You have a life here and not one I want.”
“You don’t… want me? I can tell you do.”
Goddamn the woman for being so seductive. So perfect.
Her entire face was flushed, her pride filling her eyes with several conflicting emotions.
Tears trickled down from her long eyelashes. Of course this was the right thing to do. For the first time in my life that’s exactly what I would do. The right goddamn thing.
Even if it nearly destroyed me inside.
“No. You were a lovely distraction, but I don’t want you. You’re not my type. You must see that. Now go. Do not come back.” She was still fighting me.
“You want me to hate you. A nice trick.”
