She tilts her head, waiting, and something cracks in me.
I tell her everything, starting with Trevor, and how even when I gave him pieces of me—my fears and concerns, my stories and secrets—he gave me only crumbs in return. And how being with him only reinforced why I am the way I am.
I tell her how since meeting Liam, I've never felt more seen or heard by a man—or anyone else for that matter. I tell her how he's strong but gentle, attentive but unassuming, sensitive but so damn grounding.
I explain how his presence alone makes me feel safe, not just physically, but in my heart too. Like coming home at night, and pulling onto your unlit street, prepared for darkness—only to get to your house and realize someone left the porch light on. Not out of habit or because you asked them to. Just because they knew you were coming home.
And instead of that comfort being simple—loving even—it scares me. Because I'm not sure I know how to be anyone but the one who keeps the lights on.
I end with how I told him I'm his, and I meant it. How I said I wanted to tell Ruthie and be more than what we are, and I meant that too. But as we get closer to that, this fear grows louder—that I'm afraid I can't meet him where he is without flinching.
I'm the strong one, the problem-solver. I can give, be useful, soften the edges. But I don't know if I can receive the care Liam gives so freely without feeling like I have to earn it. And he deserves arealpartner—someone who will share the weight without questioning why he's lending a shoulder.
"He asked me if everything was okay when all I felt was stressed—about you, about us. And I just said yes." She waits for me to explain. "That might sound harmless. It might sound like nothing.But that's not honesty, and it's not a relationship." I drag my bottom lip between my teeth to stop it from quivering. "It's fear masked as ease. Like standing on that same porch—at the top of the steps, just inches from the door—and convincing myself that's just as good as coming home."
I pause, sighing. "Liam and Ruthie deserve so much more than that."
A light knock at the door cuts Jo off from responding, and Lenora pops her head into the room. "Hey, I'm out of here, but your discharge paperwork is all set. The other nurse will be in shortly to get you unhooked and situated. Take care of yourself, Jo. I don't want to see you here again."
"Hmm… jokes on you. I don't even live around here," Jo says playfully.
Lenora laughs. "Well, I hope to be a little all over the place soon. So, just stay out of hospitals, period. Deal?"
"Deal."
She smiles, pulls the door closed, and Jo sits up straighter in the bed. "Thank God."
"Yeah," I murmur, still thinking about the conversation I assume we'll brush past.
Suddenly though, Jo threads her fingers back through mine, and when I find her gaze, she smiles sympathetically. "I could tell you all of the ways I think you're wrong, but none of them will mean anything coming from me. Not in the way you need them to."
I search her eyes, waiting for more.
"Call him, okay? Tell him exactly what you said to me."
The thought threatens to paralyze me, but if I learned anything from finally saying all that aloud, it's that I want Liam more than I'm scared to lose him.
"I will," I say, somewhat convincingly. "But let's get you home first."
Jo's eyes narrow slightly before she exhales and tips her chin down. "Yeah, sure." I look at the TV to see the credits rolling on the screen, and somehow, it feels fitting.
"Hey," Jo says, calling me back. "Why don't you grab us some coffees while I wait. It'll be a long drive."
As if her suggestion made me realize just how tired I am, I nod. "Good idea."
I head toward the door, but just as I reach it, she stops me. "Can I use your phone?"
"For what?"
"I want to get in contact with someone from the convention so they don't completely cancel me for just not showing up. Mine's dead."
"Yourphone is dead?"
She shrugs. "I was gonna charge it this morning but… you know."
"Yeah," I laugh. "I know."
Reaching into my purse, I find my phone and toss it to her. "No posting weird comments on your episodes under my name."
