But I don't.
For so many reasons.
"Let's go, Sammy," I say instead, turning back toward where we came from.
Sammy whimpers, pulling on his leash as he tries to follow her. "I know, buddy." I yank him toward me and he obeys, but every few feet he glances behind him.
And so do I.
1
Tessa
"We're really sorry again, Tess. We wish we could take you with us."
I hold on to the strap of my purse like a lifeline and shake my head. "I totally get it," I say way too cheerfully considering the pit that's growing in my stomach. "I wish you all the best."
Mia, my nowformeremployer, leans in for yet another hug. I accept it, only hesitant to squeeze back because I'm afraid the pressure might be the final straw that breaks the dam currently building behind my eyes. "You too, sweetie. We'll send pictures."
The offer hits me coated in audacity rather than the thoughtfulness I'm sure was intended. With that as my cue to get the hell out of there before my sadness quickly morphs into unjustified anger, I open the front door. I step through the threshold of the completely renovated brownstone that I may miss almost as much as the family that lives in it and don't look back. Bee-lining it for my car that's, of course, parked halfway around the world, I pick up speed.
With my fingers still white-knuckling the strap across my chest, I take deep breaths through my nose and blow them slowly from my lips. My chest burns as the spots beneath my arms heat from clenching my elbows so tightly to my ribs I'm afraid they might cave in.
I know the Randolphs can't control the fact that Mr. Randolph is being moved for work. I understand that Mrs. Randolph quit her jobcold-turkey now that she won't have to show up to that stuffy office anymore two weeks from now. But it would've been nice to have a little notice.
I've been with them—Tripp and Tala—for over a year now. We were all so comfortable with each other, and Tripp had finally started calling me Teth—ironically still better than how he was pronouncing it before.Thank God he finally got that whole M and T thing figured out.But now, they're leaving Golden City, and I’m left with no job.
Finally reaching my white Chevy Malibu, I throw the door open and plop myself inside. I sink into the seat cushion as I drop my forehead to the steering wheel, opening my mouth as wide as I can to silent-scream into the night. When at least the edge is off, I sit back, my head crashing into the headrest behind me.
Then the quiet tears start.
I'm gonna miss them so much. I'm gonna miss our mornings together where Tala helped me pour the milk into her cereal, even though she completely missed the bowl each time. I'm gonna miss dropping the two of them off at gymnastics only to watch the instructor dodge Tripp rolling around on the mat for the next forty-five minutes. And I'm going to miss the way Mrs. Randolph would end each evening calling out to me from the kitchen as I walked out the door.Thanks again, Tess! I don't know what we would do without you!
She didn't say that this time.
I guess that's because we're all about to find out.
A buzz from my phone pulls me back. I glance down at the screen to see my sibling group chat name sprawled across it—W.W.T.D.With a roll of my eyes, I throw the device onto the passenger seat. I can't deal with that right now.
I attempt to start my car, groaning as I swat at the button and miss the first three times. On the fourth try, I jam my pointer finger into it so hard, the tip bends backward and only adds to the pain growing in my chest. I pull out of my spot, the idea of driving to Trevor's only deepening the ache.
I coast onto the next street and immediately go into problem-solving mode, wondering if my boss from the restaurant would take me back.Our two best servers quit right before me. Maybe I could offer to help him out if he gave me back some day shifts until I found something else.
I have plenty saved to cover rent in the meantime considering I only have half to pay now—maybe the silver lining here is that moving in with Trevor might be a good idea after all…
But I'm not one to sit still.
And what if he thinks I planned this?
I shake the thought, pushing away a whole other truth I'm not willing to admit, and without realizing, I fly through a yellow light. My heart rate increases as I throw my head over each shoulder. You do not run lights in Golden City. Especially at night.
I slow my pace, my lids slinking shut for just a second as I attempt to clear my mind and the saliva that's built underneath my tongue. My grip on the wheel relaxes as I open my eyes and let my shoulders fall from my ears.
I exhale heavily, feeling every ounce of weight from the last twenty minutes settle onto my chest. "It's fine, Tess," I reassure myself. "Just re—oh my God!"
I slam on my brakes as a blur of a man darts in front of my car. "What are you doing?" I yell out of the crack in my window, my frustration from the entire night evident in my tone.
I can't see much thanks to the lack of lights on this side street and the remnants of tears still slightly blurring my vision. But what I can make out clearly is the middle finger the man with a death wish throws at me without looking back as he continues sprinting down the street.
