"It happens to me sometimes if I don't finish dinner before practice and Coach makes us run extra laps."
I smile faintly, unwrapping the candy and shoving it into my mouth before I have to explain to Ruthie that I'm pale and unfocused because I'm still mentally comparing myself to Nellie and not because I'm hypoglycemic.
Nellie's clearly great—a fan favorite—but so am I. Usually. It's not like I'm jealous of her. I'm glad Ruthie had someone so great before me. But I'm great too. And the fact that Liam is so hesitant to see that despite giving me the job stirs a frustration in me I can't quite explain.
"Hey, I parked behind Drippy's," I say, changing subjects before I waltz into Nellie's room and ask for a session myself. "You know what has tons of sugar?"
"Cinnamon rolls?" she asks eagerly and without hesitation.
I nod.
Ruthie shrieks, darting for the exit. "You're the best!" she yells as she reaches the door.
I laugh, and that quick, my levels are suddenly back to normal.
I am the best, aren't I? Just like Nellie.
Take that, Liam.
"It's so good." Ruthie slumps in her seat, her mouth full of flaky cinnamon-swirled dough and gooey homemade frosting.
Taking a sip of my macchiato, I wash down my last bite. "I could eat these things for every meal."
She sticks a finger in her mouth and licks it clean. "Ooh, I'msoasking Dad to get these for my birthday party."
My ears perk up. "Wait, when's your birthday party?"
"Next weekend." She sits forward and leans her forearms on the table, her face brighter than ever. "It's a sleepover."
"A sleepover?" I echo. "That's so cool."
"It's my first one."
Now I sit forward eagerly. As someone who never had their own room growing up, I can't even imagine. "Seriously? Oh, this is gonna be great. Who all is coming?"
"I invited the six other girls from my soccer team—no boys. Dad said they haven't all RSVP'd yet, but that's probably because I just gave out the invitations last week."
"You guys will have the best time," I say, sipping again from my coffee.
"I can't wait. I already checked the streaming apps and made a list of the best movies. Dad vetoed like half of them, of course, but there's still some good ones left. Plus, he said he'd get all my favorite snacks and let us stay up as late as we wanted as long as we weren't being too crazy."
"Sounds like a great dad," I say, smiling—meaning it.
And he does—he is. He's the Dad who loves his daughter so much that he'll fill his house with preteen girls hopped up on sugar and gossip just to make her birthday special. The guy full of a steady warmth everyone keeps talking about. The guy I wish I got for more than just brief blips of time.
"He is," she says with a smile as she shoves another bite of her cinnamon roll into her mouth. "But he's also been kind of a grouch these past few weeks."
Now she has my attention. "Why do you say that?"
She shrugs. "He's just grumpy about the most random things. I think it's because of everything that's been going on with the nanny stuff, no offense."
I shake my head, mentally thanking her.So, it's not just me."None taken. I'm not like those other ones," I say, winking.
"I know." She grins and it melts my heart. "I can tell."
I smile back. "Well, hopefully he can too."
She nods and sips her water. "How'd you spend your last birthday?"
