It’s like both of my first loves are moving on without me. And as anyone would, I’m struggling with it. Add in the string of nanny failures, and I’ve been swapping the break I can’t seem to catch for a pretty shitty attitude. Especially with her.
Tessa’s not the enemy. And she doesn't seem anything like the others who didn’t work out. Maybe keeping her at arm’s length is part of the reason everything feels so heavy. I have help right beside me, but still, I'm carrying it alone.
I've been so busy trying to protect what's left of life as I know it, that I'm drowning the remaining time in sadness and negativity, treating the one person who can help as a threat instead of the gift that she is. I've never given any person in my life half-effort. So, moving forward, I'm giving Tessa's relationship with our family what it deserves—I'm planting my foot and committing to the swing.
And praying that she makes it over the fence.
Headlights stream in through the bay window, beacons of the hope I was starting to lose. "She's pulling in now!" I yell up to Ruthie.
"Okay, I'll be down in just a sec!"
I release an unexpectedly heavy breath and rush toward the door before I can stop myself. "Hey," I say walking across the porch—too eagerly considering she's barely had a chance to put both feet on the pavement. But it's time to pull the real Liam back out.
He has some making up to do.
"Oh, hi." Tess avoids my eye contact as she slams the driver's side door shut and reaches for the handle beside it.
I walk toward the car, attempting to ignore the mood she seems to be in, and brace one hand on the doorframe. "Thanks for coming."
She forces a smile. "Sure."
"Sorry I called so last minute." I watch as she reaches into the backseat. "Honestly, I've just been going back and forth with it because—"
"It's fine." She pops out with a duffle bag she throws onto her shoulder. "You weren't sure if you wanted me to be part of that side of your life just yet. I get it."
I pause. "Well, yeah actually, but… "
"Liam, it's seriously not a big deal." Her voice is soft and honest, but there's a hint of something more to it. Something sadder. "I'm just here to help with Ruthie and do my job. We don't have to be friends."
"What? No I—"
"Tess!"
I whip around to find Ruthie standing barefoot on the porch, her U-shaped pillow wrapped around her neck.
"Hey, girl," Tessa says, walking past me. I follow her until she's at the steps, then turn back to the open door I'm still hanging onto. "You ready?"
Ruthie nods excitedly. "I can't wait. We stayed at this hotel last year, and they have an indoor pool in this big glass room—heated too. Dad let me swim in it at night. The only lights are these strips they put in the water around the edge, and you can change the color to be whatever you want—or we could at least." She wiggles her brows at me, and I shoot her a wink.
"Did you bring your suit?"
Tess glances quickly at me, then looks back at Ruthie. "Actually, I did. Our friend Brooke told me to. She's been there before."
Ruthie's face lights up. "Yes!" she cries. "I love Brooke."
I nod. "Me too."
Ruthie grins at Tess, then looks at me. "Alright, well, let's go! What are we waiting for?"
I laugh, partially from the irony of her question and partially from the relief I feel that she pulls me away from picturing Tessa in a bathing suit.
Chill, Two-Three. Not that kind of friendly.
"Well,youuntil like five minutes ago," I quip. She shrugs. "And Tess of course."
"Hey, I wasn't late," Tess shoots out defensively before she catches herself.
I smirk at her, and for the first time tonight, she smiles. "You never are."
