I want to tell her I understand. That I've treated her the same way over a rough few weeks. It's right there—on the tip of my tongue. But I don't. Because I'm... scared?
Instead, I grin, and turn back toward the front of the plane. Tess does the same, sinking into the seat and clasping her hands in her lap. I look around the plane like I'm searching for Ruthie, but really it's an excuse to take her in.
She really is stunning, which feels safe to say considering it's obvious. Her hair is folded into a braid—one of the handful of ways I've seen it, always pulled back. And the hoodie she's wearing somehow only enhances her beauty. Like she doesn't need anything fancy or expensive to accentuate her features. Her eyes are my favorite green—the kind that you can never quite pin down. Sometimes they're more gold, sometimes almost teal. The same way Ruthie's are depending on what she's wearing.
But the best thing about Tess—the most attractive part of her—is her smile. It's straight and white, but it's also always there—soft, gentle, lingering like her lips are permanently curled. Her face is always welcoming and approachable. Like she's consistently a safe space to land.
I realize now, seeing it once again as her head lolls back and her eyes sink shut—that's why I was so thrown off when it wasn't there earlier.
I was lost without it.
And that's why I find myself wanting to pull it out of her again.
I lean over the empty seat between us. "You can say shit by the way," I whisper.
Tess's eyes pop open, and she leans in too, closing mostof the gap between us.
Her sweet scent hits me like it hasn't yet tonight, and her ever-changing eyes lock in on mine. I physically feel myself attempting to avoid noticing her. Like my mind and body are trying to reset back to factory settings like they have so many times in the last eleven years—in the last two weeks.
But somehow her pull is stronger than I've felt before. Heavier. And I almost move back again.
But I don't.
"Or ass or hell," I continue. "Even f…" The next word fades as it gets stuck in my mouth—a warning from my own mind that saying it this close to her will trigger something else in me I'm not ready or willing to handle right now.
I clear my throat and sit back in my seat. "Bitch," I say instead, my voice still low. "If you want to… just not around my kid."
I smile, and she laughs, and I almost feel rewarded.
"I'll keep that in mind."
17
Tessa
Jo
How's the trip? How are you?
I read my latest text from my sister, not in the group chat for once, and look back at Ruthie. She's on game three of Skee-Ball with the new friends she made about twenty minutes ago—two little girls who visit Grand Oaks together with their families once a year. They remind me of Jo and I when we were little—one a little quieter and one brassier than the other, but both sweet and silly and capable of making a new best friend in a matter of minutes.
Ruthie glances over, and I wave to her before responding to my sister.
It's fine. I've been hanging with Ruthie around the hotel most of the day while Liam does whatever it is baseball players do before a game—workouts, meetings. The game's in a few hours, so we'll head over soon.
Jo
And you? I can't believe you broke up with Travis.
I sigh, crossing one foot over the other as I lean on the wall behind me.
It's Trevor, but you know that already. And I'm okay. It's for the best. Shitty how it went down, but I think if we're both honest, it should have ended weeks ago.
Jo
Sounds to me like it basically did.
Pretty much.
