Gray’s voice was low. “Because when I shoot, all you see is gray matter.”
Reid sounded like he was choking on something.
Gray looked like he threw a grenade to see if Remi would catch it.
Remi didn’t blink. She cocked her head to the side and gave a grin I felt like I hadn't seen in a lifetime. “I like you.”
Gray gave the faintest shrug, like he couldn’t care less whether anyone liked him, but I could tell he didn’t hate it and that the feeling was mutual.
“Anything I should know?” I asked him once Reid had stepped out with him.
Gray paused at the doorway. “She’s smart. She’s watching everything. And she doesn’t trust you.”
Then he looked over his shoulder and added, “She shouldn’t. Not yet.”
And then he was gone.
I turned back to Remi.
She didn’t speak. Didn’t blink.
“Remi…” I started.
“Save it.”
“I came to check on you.”
“You came to check your conscience,” she corrected. “Big difference.”
I didn’t argue. I sat in the chair across from her. “I never did anything with Erin,” I said.
Remi blinked once. No reaction.
“I swear to you,” I continued, “I’ve made a thousand mistakes in the months... fuck maybe years... but that wasn’t one of them. I would never do that to her. I love her, Remi. I have no idea why Erin was leaving my building or how she got a picture of me in the precinct shower without me knowing... and honestly, there's been so much going on that I haven't looked into it... But I didn't betray Ava like that.”
She didn’t nod. Didn’t soften.
So, I kept going. “It feels like I’m drowning, kiddo. Like I’ve got too many balls in the air, and I’ve been juggling the wrong ones. I thought I was protecting people. I thought I was focusing on what mattered.”
“And the people whoactuallymattered got hurt,” she said.
That landed. Hard.
I nodded.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” I said. “I’m asking you to let me earn your trust back. One step at a time.”
She studied me for a long moment, then tilted her head like she was trying to decide whether to believe me.
“You’re not the only one who feels like they are drowning, Chief,” she said finally. “The difference is some of us have been treading water our whole lives.”
“Tell me what to do to fix this, Remi.”
Silence stretched between us.
She looked me up and down. “You’re trying to fix things. Good. Because you broke a lot.”
I closed my eyes. Just for a second. Then I whispered, “I am so sorry.”
