My hands clenched at my sides. My stomach turned. My throat burned.
Don’t cry.
Don’t break.
Let him say it all.
Let him show you.
“I never asked you to fix me,” I said. “I just wanted you to stand beside me. And instead, you’re standing behind me with a knife.”
He didn’t say anything.
Didn’t deny it.
Didn’t reach for me.
So, I stepped back.
The cracks growing bigger.
“That’s all I needed to know.”
And then I turned to leave.
But before I crossed the threshold, I stopped. Just for a second. Just long enough to look back.
“You were right,” I said. “I am jaded. But that is because I’ve seen the worst of people. Survived them. Learned to recognize when silence means guilt. When distance means damage. I know what betrayal smells like, Harlan.”
I stared at him, and he didn’t move.
His beautiful face that I had come to love was now back to unreadable stone.
My Harlan... the one I thought I knew was gone.
“I had hope, for once, that I was wrong.” My voice cracked, so I turned my face so he wouldn't see the tears as I said. “My love for you may have been blind... But I will stick with jaded over being blind to your brand of love any day.”
Then I walked away.
And this time, I didn’t look back.
Because I didn’t want to know if he had already turned his back on me.
Because I knew he wouldn’t follow.
Because I wasn’t ready to watch the man I loved turn into just another reason, I stopped trusting in the first place.
CHAPTER 40
HARLAN - HOLDING MY PUNCHES
I watched her until she left the precinct. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her last few words echoing in my mind.
“My love for you may have been blind... But I will stick with jaded over being blind to your brand of love any day.”
My love.
Had she just told me she loved me as a goodbye?
