No...
What the fuck just happened?
The office was quiet.
Not peaceful.
Like the silence after a gunshot. The moment you check your chest, wondering if you’re the one who’s bleeding.
The Christmas lights we’d strung across the bullpen over a month ago still blinked faintly in the corner, leftovers from a holiday shift no one had enjoyed, but no one had the heart to take down. They looked mocking now. A reminder of time passing. Of her laughter at New Year’s when the clock hit midnight. Of the way she leaned into me, soft and certain, like maybe she finally believed in us.
And now... gone.
I hadn’t moved since Ava left.
I couldn’t.
She’d come in like fire and left me like ash. I was in shock for part of the conversation, and then defensive, and then I let my tired ego go on the attack.
I’d told myself I was holding the line. That I didn’t owe her answers to questions she didn’t want to ask the right way. How dare she accuse me of some ridiculous shit... how dare she not trust me...
But the second she walked out, spine straight, voice wrecked, eyes shattered... I knew.
I’d just lost the best thing that ever happened to me.
Because I was too goddamn tired to tell the truth out loud.
Too distracted trying to fix everything before I felt worthy of loving her.
Too far down in my own shit to see that she wasn’t asking for perfection. Just honesty.
I kept trying to replay the conversation over and over in my mind and pinpoint when I had fucked up. When the love and warmth in her eyes went out, and the cold steel blue emerged.
I honestly hadn't even realized it had been three weeks. That didn't sit right.
But then that pissed me off too, because she had been sitting on this, stewing on this Erin bullshit for three weeks.
I needed to get air, maybe a nap and then I could clear my head and talk to her.
Yeah, because she’s going to let you anywhere near her after that brutal assault on her character, asshole.
I had to believe that it wasn't over. I heard her words and saw the look on her face. But this couldn't be it... I would get my head on right and talk to her, and we would be…
My phone buzzed.
I didn’t check it.
Another buzz. Then three more in a row.
I finally flipped it over.
Remi.
A jolt of hope shot through me.
Maybe she could explain what Ava couldn’t.
Maybe she could tell me how to fix this.
