“When I told you all of this was my fault, I meant just that. RJ is trying to show me he can run the streets. I told him he couldn’t and that he should look for something legit to settle into because I was looking to transition myself and wouldn’t be passing anything I worked for down to him. The streets are not given, they are earned. It takes a certain type to master them.”
“So, what? You wanna save his life?”
“I didn’t say that. I know a line has been crossed, one there is no coming back from. I know the language and know you gotta do what you gotta do. Just don’t lose yourself looking for vengeance. It won’t help you sleep any easier or get through the day.”
Something about his words made me think about the priest. Everybody assumed I was doing everything for vengeance, when in actuality, I wanted to live my fucking life and not have to look over my shoulder.Fuck vengeance, this was survival.
Eventually I got off the phone with Rich and went back into the house. There, I was greeted with a sight I had never seen. Not since I’ve known her.
Liora was in my kitchen whisking eggs and rapping to Jeezy’s “All There”.It was sexy as fuck, but she’d never stayed in a kitchen for more than the allotted time to eat or make sure it was clean before we went to bed since we’d started this.
For a minute I just stood there and watched her, enthralled. Liora was everything a nigga didn’t realize he was missing in life until I encountered it. That friend shit with us ran deep, from her being a sounding board for my thoughts to being a presence when I was so fucking used to being alone. I had never been with a woman who witnessed all of me and understood. She didn’t only understand, but she related in a way any sane or normal motherfucker wouldn’t. I was no cornball ass fool by far, but in a way, she completed me.
“So you’re gonna stand there and watch me like a creep?” Her voice interrupted my trance.
“Nah, I’ma stand here in awe. I didn’t know you could cook.”
She laughed. “You didn’t ask. And it’s nothing spectacular. I don’t even like cooking.”
“But you know how though? We been ordering out for months and you can burn?”
“Iso.”
She mugged the fuck out of me in her morning glory. Well, shit ,mine. She was comfortable in my white tee, a pair of my briefs, probably rolled at the hip, and my fucking slides.
I laughed. “Don’t look at me like that, Killa. You’ve been holding out on me.”
“You never asked. Now come put the sausages in the pan.” She motioned then turned to check on the eggs.
“You wanna tell me about it?” she asked, her back to me seconds later as I began placing the miniature pork sausages into the cast iron skillet.
“’Bout what?”
“What’s bothering you?”
I was about to tell her nothing, but nah, it wasn’t nothing. It was very much something and I didn’t know how to carry it.
“Lucky. I had you look into Lucky. According to what you found, and from what Posydiann said, he was also in on setting me up. A nigga I shared a fucking room, toys, and clothes with during childhood helped set me up. I don’t know how to feel about that.”
I felt her eyes when I was done speaking, but I didn’t look up at her.
“This is about to sound fucked up, but don’t. The more you feel about it and the longer he walks this earth, the better chance he gets at succeeding the next time he decides to set you up.You are now aware of who he is and what he’s capable of where you’re concerned.”
Everything she said made sense, so much that all I could do was nod.
“It’s messed up, I know. If you want me to handle that for you, let me know.”
My eyes were on her immediately. “You’d do that for me?”
We locked eyes.
“In a heartbeat.” Her response held no hesitation because she meant what she said and I appreciated the fuck out of her for that.
“Thank you for offering, beautiful. But I gotta handle that on my own.”
She shrugged. “Either way, the offer is there.”
I nodded. “Aight. What do you have planned for the day? You know, besides offering to handle heavy shit for your nigga?”
