“No.”
“Then why the fuck should their opinions matter?”
Johanna stared at him in shock.
“Every time you undervalue yourself, you let them win. Every. Single. Time. Meanwhile those people are off living their poor excuses of lives. Do you think they ever think of you, that you ever cross their minds? No. They’ve probably done that to a hundred other people by now. Does it seem fair to you that you’re stuck while they’re moving on?”
“N-No.” She gulped. “But how can I change that?”
“Focus on you,” he said quietly. “Think about what you want, every single day. I’m going to ask you and I want you to answer me as honestly as you possibly can. You need to learn how to put yourself first and that you don’t need to sacrifice yourself for anyone else.” His fingers brushed through her hair, squeezing her back. “You’re allowed to do that, sunflower. Your words, thoughts and opinions have value.Youhave value.”
She was shaking, bits of her heart exploding at his words. Logically she knew he was right, and if the roles had been reversed then she would have said the same things to him. Yet she never imagined she’d ever hear them come out of another person’s mouth.
Johanna clung to him. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his neck where she breathed in his scent.
“Would you do something for me?” Luke asked suddenly.
Johanna lifted her head. “Anything. What is it?”
“You spoke to me telepathically once. When you do that, can you only hear someone’s communicative thoughts, or can you interact with all their thoughts?”
“Either or.” She tilted her head to the side. “Why are you asking?”
“I want you to do that with me. I want you to see all my thoughts about you.”
She drew back. “What are you talking about? Why would you want that?”
“Because I don’t want you to ever doubt the way I see you.”
“Luke…”
He squeezed her waist. “Please?”
“I … Okay.”
He pulled her as close as he could, until she had no choice but to straddle his lap to accommodate them. Luke widened his legs, forcing her to spread her knees further and settle more onto his lap. She gasped, and goosebumps broke out across her skin when he chuckled slowly.
She took a breath, trying to slow her racing heart. “You know we don’t have to be this close.”
He smiled and tilted his head to hers. For a moment Johanna thought he was going to kiss her, but he rested his forehead against her own and stared into her eyes. “The last time we did this I couldn’t reach you, so I don’t want any space between us now.”
She gulped and licked her suddenly dry lips. Then she closed her eyes in the hope of blocking out the intensity of his stare, but she could still feel him watching her. She blushed. “Close your eyes.”
He laughed, the rumble of the sound making his chest brush against hers just as each puff of air tickled her lips.
Taking a deep breath, she gently pushed into his mind, feeling him resist her for all of a second. Then she was in.
The mind reflected a person’s behaviors, so every mind was different. While Johanna was typically respectful of entering a person’s mind, she enjoyed being able to see them for what they were. But Luke’s mind had to be one of the most glorious she’d ever come across.
It was like a gallery, with blotches of paint and short form notes spilled along the marble walls and floors. Golden columns lined every archway, and when Johanna looked up, she could see an open sky-like field filled with countless shapes. Then she saw him. He looked into her eyes and everything changed.
The hall shifted, flying away until it was fully replaced with suns, the large, gleaming balls of light surrounding them. A giant bird flew in and out of focus before settling on the top of a cage covered in flames.
“This is how I see you,”Luke said.“To me, you are the sun. But you’re also this bird, learning how to fly in a world that tried to tear you apart.”He reached his hand out and pointed at the bird.“You’ll learn how to fly, sunflower. This world could never keep you down. I won’t let it.”
“Luke…” she said out loud, swimming in the mess he was making of her.
“Do you know why I call you sunflower?”
