He cut another piece of steak. "How is mafia life treating you?"
It was tough. But I loved it. "It's good. It's very different from the life I had before."
"I didn't get the feeling you liked that life."
"You're worthless. Ungrateful. Nothing but trash. I should have killed you when I had the chance?—"
Taking a deep breath, I locked the memories of my past back where they belonged.
"No, I did not. Every day was torture, but now I have my freedom."
"I'm sorry for what you went through, and I'm sorry that you went through it alone."
Marco's eyes filled with longing and sorrow, sparking a connection between us I couldn't deny.
For a while, when I would get lost in the silence at night, my misery would suffocate me. Sometimes, no matter how hard I tried, I could still feel its fingers around my throat.
But I wouldn't allow that here, not now, in front of him. Those were the demons I hid, my broken pieces I refused to let anyone see.
"Thank you," I whispered softly.
"Of course." He nodded. "Do you find this life difficult?"
"It has its challenges."
"Do you experience those challenges with your own men? I never see you with anyone, any guards, or your own team."
I glared at him. "Well, I don't see you with yours, either."
"Yes, but I imagine it's harder for you."
I raised an eyebrow. "Why? Because I'm a woman?"
"Exactly. I'm not saying that you can't defend yourself. I'm fully aware that you can, but there are plenty of people in this business who see women as less than." His grip tightened as he cut his steak. "I can't imagine how often you have to deal with that. And I would hope you wouldn't have to deal with it within your own familia."
I swirled my wine because I didn't want to admit that I had and that I couldn't trust my own men. But if he was willing to be honest with me, then I needed to hold up my end of the bargain as well, at least somewhat.
"My men were loyal to Fernando. Now they're learning to be loyal to me."
He frowned, and it grated on my nerves. Was that answer dissatisfactory to him? Did he now see me as someone less than? A failure who hadn't won over her empire in its entirety?
He put down his utensils, then gently dabbed the corner of his lips with his napkin. "I come from two separate families. One is the Italian side, the Torrino Famiglia from my father, and the other is my mother's Hispanic side, the De La Rosa Familia." He took a deep breath. "When my mother married into the family, she had her own way of doing things. She was a bruja and people within the Torrino Famiglia believed she couldn't be trusted. Not only was she not Italian, her family was dying out and their power was dwindling here in the States. Some people believed she put a hex on my father or bewitched him in some way, because there was no other reason for him to marry her."
Without meaning to, I folded one hand under my chin and leaned in closer, enraptured by his story.
"My father protected her. He loved her more than anything in the world, but she never cared about following other people's conventions."
"What do you mean?"
"She didn't care to win over his family. She didn't care if they never trusted, respected, or honored her, and she made my father promise to never force their hand." His lips curled into a small, soft smile. "All she wanted was for him to be happy and safe, and she knew if he tried to force his men to accept her, it would only breed resentment and eventually lead to his downfall."
"It took years for people to finally accept her, but it happened organically. They grew to love her for her ideals and the way she loved us, and them." His voice grew quieter, tinged with deep, immense grief. "They loved her so much that they mourned as much as I did when both she and my father were killed."
My heart ached for him. "I am so sorry for your loss."
"Thank you,” he whispered, then straightened in his chair. “I told you all of this not to upset you, but because I believe you too have your own way of winning over people. And you will do so at any point in time you need to." His gaze met my own, the intensity almost robbing me of my breath. "When I look at you, I see a woman capable of claiming the entire world. A world where everyone would bow down at your feet if you wished them to."
"And would you bow to me as well?"
