I hiccupped a laugh, smothering it with my hand, and he peered down at me.
"And then you wonder why I call you my vicious little queen when you make me fight like this every day."
15
Catalina
Marco opened my car door, and I slid inside, then he handed me the leftover food from our lunch.
"I'll follow you home."
I peered up at him and tilted my head. "You don't have to do that."
He grinned and bent over my car door. "I don't do anything I don't want to, Catalina. And I'm always looking for an excuse to spend more time with you."
Heat flushed from my chest to my cheeks. I reached for my seatbelt, but Marco pulled it out of my hands. "What are you?—"
Slowly, he leaned over me, reached across my body, and buckled me into my car. Then—as if it was a completely normal reaction instead of something that made the blood rush through my veins faster—he pulled away.
"I've got to make sure my vicious little queen makes it home safe."
I was speechless.
He smirked. "Don't forget to start the car." Then he gently closed my door.
I sat there for a moment, completely frozen, before I finally pressed the start button. The air came on and I folded over the car seat, resting my head on it. "He's going to be the death of me."
By the time I settled, he was waiting for me, and we started the drive home.
He didn't need to follow me. But I liked being able to glance in the rear-view mirror and see his brown eyes staring back at me.
Maybe I liked it a littletoomuch.
There was a spark of electricity every time our gazes met, and between that and the memory of his lips on my skin, I had to clench my legs together. But with each look, my desire grew until I became frustrated with myself.
I thought I was strong. I thought I could conquer anything, do anything I put my mind to. Yet, admitting I didn't know how to be intimate, how to please him—even though I wanted to—made me feel weak.
It wasn't normal, but nothing about this was. Nothing in my life had prepared me for this, and there was nowhere I could turn to get more information.
Sure, there was porn, but that was a fantasy. There wasn't anything I could practice on unless I did so with Marco. And while the thought sent another surge of heat down to my core, I wanted… I wanted to be good for him.
I wanted to make him feelgoodthe same way he'd made me feel in my office. I wanted things to be perfect between us. I didn't want him to be disappointed with me.
But underneath all of that, there was something else, something deeper, darker.I don't want to lose him.
Marco saw through the mask I wore for everyone, through the walls I'd built, the distance I maintained, but he hadn't seen this version of me. The me who was scared of doing something wrong, of everything being my fault… of letting people down all the time.
I knew he liked me. But he didn't know that inside, I was broken.
I had moments where I'd get so wrapped up in my fears and past abuse that it spilled over. I'd erupt, shatter into pieces, and always had to pick them up by myself. I was damaged goods, and there was no fixing me.
There was no relying on someone to hold my hand and tell me it was all okay. I had too many people I had to be there for. I needed to be an impenetrable dam that could protect my familia from the dark waters of The Underground.
I couldn't show anyone who I was in the deepest parts of myself. Couldn't admit I didn't have all the answers, that some days I was barely holding it together. That I wanted so much to protect everyone while wishing,begging, someone would be there to protect me, too.
Marco may have felt that he couldn't have done anything to help me when Felipe showed up at my office, but that wasn't true. Knowing he was there gave me courage. Not being alone felt… good, like a dream come true.
But my courage was fleeting. At least, it was when it came to him. Because I still didn't know what he wanted.
