Sienna
My first month in New York City almost broke me.
Finding an apartment without a job or references was hell. People fight over them like they're made out of gold. Places would disappear before I could even call about them, even if they were the size of a closet.
I couldn’t go to a hotel or a motel because I needed to prioritize every penny I had. With no other option, I ended up sleeping in my car, moving to a different lot each night for safety. The sounds of sirens, car doors slamming, and people shouting would constantly wake me up in a panic.
But I didn't want to give up. I wanted my dreams to survive, to know that I was right, that I'd made the right choice. So, I sold everything I could and managed to snag a tiny studio sight unseen.
The place was barely bigger than a closet, with a radiator that clanged all night and a shower that only gave lukewarm water on good days. But it was better than my car, and it was mine.
After that, things started falling into place.
I was driving around town one day, trying to get my bearings, when I got completely lost, and ended up on a narrow brick road lined with oak trees. That's where I saw Sage & Stone for the first time. I wasn't going to go in, but then I spotted the "Help Wanted" sign and thought I should at least try.
I took in the beautiful ebony woman with silver eyes that seemed to look right through you behind the counter and immediately felt this incredible sense of calm and ease. And when I realized Astrid was an actual witch who fully believed in magic and the history of talismans and cultural artifacts, I was fascinated.
She offered me a job on the spot, and accepting it was the best thing I could have ever done.
Astrid was empowering and sophisticated with a take-no-shit attitude. She didn't care if someone believed what she did or not, but she wouldn't let them disrespect her. And she helped people unlock that same strength within themselves.
When people would walk into the shop looking devastated and broken, Astrid would look them over then take them into the back room, and when they'd come out, they'd look rejuvenated, like a heavy weight had been lifted off their shoulders.
She found lost things, guided people in identifying core wounds, and gave them hope when they had none left.
Astrid inspired me, made me wonder if I could ever be like that too—strong, confident, unshakeable. During my second week, she taught me how. And whether it was the herbs, crystals, or just Astrid’s unwavering belief that the universe had so much better in store for me—something in that shop began to heal me too.
She encouraged me to find the life I wanted. To stop hiding from the world, that I deserved to take up space without thinking I needed to apologize for doing so.
And that was hard. To let go of my old life meant I needed to let go of everything.
I uninstalled my social media apps so I wouldn’t torture myself looking at posts of James and Aubrey anymore. I grieved the loss of a relationship with my parents and finally accepted that no matter how much I wished it was different, I never truly had a good relationship with them in the first place.
I started learning who I really was—my hobbies, my style.
A year ago, I would have never been caught in a shirt that said, "The only time my weight is any of your concern is if I'm sitting on your face," jeans that actually hugged my curves, and a pendant Astrid gave me for protection.
The back door of Sage & Stone swings open and soft wind chimes tinkle, pulling me from my thoughts. Astrid emerges with her usual soft smile, but when she sees me, her face lights up.
"That shirt is perfect!" she says, gesturing for me to turn around.
I can't help but grin as I do a little spin, showing off just a little. We both laugh, and it feels good—natural, easy. Like this is how life is supposed to feel.
This little occult shop has become my sanctuary. Astrid, my mentor and first real friend. They helped me find pieces of myself I didn't know were missing.
Astrid settles behind the counter to take over for the evening. "So what are you doing for Halloween?"
“Nothing really.” I shrug. “Probably just a horror movie marathon and handing out candy to trick-or-treaters.”
Astrid shakes her head. "Absolutely not. You have four whole days off. Isn't there anything fun you'd like to do?" She studies me before raising an eyebrow. "Wasn't there that Halloween festival in the park you've been dying to go to? What about that?"
I bite my lip. Of course she noticed that.
Her eyes narrow and I sigh. "You're right, I wanted to go but..."
"But?" Astrid says softly.
“I’d be going alone,” I murmur. I wring my hands, notice, then try to relax them at my side. “And I guess I just... I’ve missed being with someone, you know? It feels like I’ve done all this work on myself and yet, it’s still just me, by myself.”
