I blow out a long breath, not really sure how to answer.
“I guess it went okay, all things considered,” I mumble. Mom shoots me a quizzical look as she sets down our breakfast plates and begins eating across from me, splashes of purple and blue hues dance across her arms and face.
“Well, Delaney’s girlfriendEllie,is actually Ellora,Dominic’s sister,” I say around a bite of bacon.
“Uh oh, I smell trouble.”
I snort a laugh. “Yeah, they are not on good terms. It got a little heated between the two of them and then Ellie and Delaney left.” I shrug because there’s not much more to it, at least on my end. Ellie and Dominic definitely have to have a conversation.
“And what about you and Dominic?” Mom asks delicately with eyebrows slightly raised.
I tuck my head down and fill my mouth with food so I don’t have to talk about it. Whateveritis. I wave a hand dismissively and swallow. “Oh, we had fun. I had a couple drinks, so he drove me home last night and walked back to his place.”
“That was very kind of him, assuming he wasn’t drinking and driving.” A look that could only be described as “protective mother” settles on Mom’s face.
“No, no, he only had one beer and he’s a pretty big guy. He was totally fine to drive,” I reassure her.
“Okay,” she says calmly, mama bear settling back into the cave. “Other than that, did you have fun?”
“Yeah, it was nice to meet Ellie other than the unexpected family drama. Dominic and I…” I trail off not sure where I’m going with that.
We’re what? Happy together? Mistaken for a couple? Went through a couple shitty instances and still ended up smiling at each other like idiots by the end of the night?
I scrub my hands over my face and pull my hair into a big bun atop my head.
“Honey, if you like him, why not give him a chance, you know, romantically?” Mom asks lightly, finishing her plate and adding another slice of bacon to mine. I chew on it dramatically.
“It wouldn’t work, Mom. I haveThe Listfor a reason, and Dom doesn’t…I don’t know. Saying he doesn’t cut it seems so ruthless when he isa good person and I genuinely like hangingout with him. But standards of the experiment, you know?” I wince at my own words.Idon’t even like how I sound.
Mom sighs so loud I’m sure it wakes up the neighbours’ dog Pongo and we’ll hear him yapping any second now. I roll my eyes at her.
“Honey, throw the list out the fucking window.”
“Mom!” I gasp. She rarely swears so hearing it now is jarring so early in the morning.
“Seriously, Celeste. This list will get you nowhere. Not in any experiment or in real life. No one will meet every expectation, and that’sokay.No one is perfect. Just like you wouldn’t want your partner to expect you to be perfect, you can’t ask that of them. You might miss out on something wonderful because, what? His GPA isn’t high enough for you?”
Mom’s words have a sharp unintentional sting to them that brings heat to my cheeks. I feel like a little girl, scribbling my dreams across my notebook and being caught by the teacher and told they’ll never happen.
“But standards are good. My list isn’t total crap. Attractive, thoughtful, honest, financially stable, smart, has goals, and supports me in my journey? Loyalty? How is that wrong?” I demand, my voice rising a fraction.
I move from the table, frustrated energy zipping through my limbs. Mom and I rarely fight, there’s been no space for it with what we’ve gone through together. It’s hard to fight over petty shit when you’re in and out of hospitals and being treated for cancer year after year. I turn to the kitchen sink and dunk my plate and mug into the water, mindlessly scrubbing until I feel Mom’s hands on my shoulders.
“My sweet girl, I didn’t mean to upset you and for that I’m sorry. You’re right.” She spins me around gently to face her. “Standards are important and for you? You deserve the very best.” Her smile for me is soft and warm and I release the breathI didn’t realize I’d been holding. “But honey, we’re human. Sometimes you have to take a chance.”
She kisses my forehead again and pulls me in for a deep hug. I relax in her hold, feeling her warmth surround me. Mom is more than just my rock, she is my mountain. Standing strong and tall, never wavering in her protection of me in every way that she could.
“Love you, Mom,” I say into her shoulder.
“Love you too, my sunshine. Always have, always will.” She squeezes me a little harder and I laugh, pulling out of her embrace. “Just give people a chance, sometimes it’s all worth it. Now go get dressed before you flash the neighbours.” She gently pushes me off toward the stairs and takes over the dishes.
I pull on leggings and a comfy hoodie before chugging a glass of water from my nightstand. I have a full day of tutoring as some students are prepping for the upcoming semester starting in the fall. I open my laptop to look over my schedule and notice two things. One, the document I have open to answer that medical school application question that I have yet to complete, and two, an unexpected text.
Jude ”The Hair”
Hey Celly, had a great chat with you the other day. Let’s meet for dinner later.
I pull out my phone, reading over the text a few times with a frown. I honestly thought he hadn’t enjoyed our date and that’s why I hadn’t heard from him since. Until now that is. Jude is handsome, with ridiculously good hair. Chivalrous? Hm, I guess he pulled a chair out for me on our first date. Butcharismatic? Yeah, that one is obvious. That man could talk his way out of a speeding ticket any day. He also mentioned his family’s wealth, and not that I’m a gold digger or anything, but I can’t afford to pay my bills, help Mom out,andsupport someone else. I think he also said something about working for his family’s company in the near future, so that’s a goal I guess. At the very least it shows a lot of loyalty to his family. Big check. I recall he mentioned traveling, sosure, that counts as a goal too. He’s my age, and he could carry on a conversation. Honestly on paper, Jude hits the marks. Fully? Pretty much, but as Mom pointed out, who would get a hundred percent? My eyes fall back on my open laptop to my looming application question. This experiment was supposed to be clear cut and concise and frankly, over by now. A swarm of hornets seem to move frantically in my chest at the idea of answering this question, “How have you tested your decision to become a doctor through your personal life?”.A question that is due—hard deadline—in the very near future. If other students are preparing for their semester then I have to as well. I reply to Jude with new intention setting in.
