“Don’t apologize, just use your youthful back, and come pull some of these weeds that are growing up close to the house. The little fuckers are choking out my hydrangeas.” She stands up,bracing her back slightly, gloved hands resting on her hips, and a sheen of sweat sticking to her forehead. Her usual tidy blonde hair is thrown haphazardly into a claw clip at the nape of her neck.
“How was your shift after you left yesterday?” June asks casually, fanning herself in the breeze-less August heat. I can confirm it is now August, after I triple checked my calendar after we first met.
“It was okay, not very many students around campus this month. Honestly, Celeste came by so often she made my days…better. Now I just cook a lot at home by myself.” I speak into the weeds that grow viciously along the outer trim of the house.
“She has that effect on people. I remember she once talked her wayintoa biology project because she wanted to learn more about human cells. What do you cook?”
I turn, frowning at June over my shoulder.
“Oh, it was an English class. But she didn’t want to read Shakespeare, so instead she asked if she could make a presentation on the human cell. She made a full diorama and everything. I still have it actually.” June squints through the front window and points to a skinny shelf in the corner where I can just make out the circular shape of the cell.
“She really talked her way out of Shakespeare? That’s impressive, actually. And Italian. I really love cooking Italian dishes, mostly pastas,” I say, trying to carry on this dual conversation while simultaneously pulling weeds.
“She’s always been an over-achiever in the sciences. Reading up on everything she could get her hands on,” June continues, staring off at nothing as she reminisces. I lap up every word about Celeste like its an oasis in a desert. “She was reading medical texts she found online well before high school. Most of it I couldn’t even decipher but, she was willing to put in the work. She has a passion for medical sciences that’s for sure. Also, I’dlove to try your pasta some time!” June ends by looking at me and fuck, do I feel inadequate.
I make pasta?Celeste has been invested in her medical career for decades andI cook fucking pasta?I blow out a slow breath and collapse down in front of the hydrangeas, pulling my gloves off and raking my fingers through my sweaty hair.
“I tried to think of things for Celeste last night. You know, grand gesture kind of things. But I feel like everything is out of my budget. Or not good enough.” I close my eyes feeling defeat lay heavy on my chest. June moves to sit beside me, arms resting atop her knees. She turns her face to the sky and closes her eyes, like a sunflower soaking in the sun’s rays.
“It’s not about the price tag, Dominic, and it never will be. With any partner. It’s about theeffort.” Before I can jump in she turns to me and holds up a finger and I snap my mouth shut. “By which I mean, a grand gesture can even be found in the little things. If someone loves reading, make the effort to read the book that they love and then talk about it with them. Another would be, say, if someone loved to paint, you could set up a date where you both paint. It’s about participating in their interests. Anyone can book a trip to Paris or London, but would anyone else know the way she takes her coffee? Her favourite movie?”
June pauses as I take in all her wisdom, all her words with a tiny niggling feeling of something almost like hope taking root in my sternum. This could work, I could do this.
She has an expression of amusement, like she’s seen the light bulb in my head flicker.“Come on. Think and pull at the same time. This garden wont weed itself.”
We work side by side for the next hour with little progress. As much as June says she loves gardening, there’s been very little maintenance done on it. We eat our lunch outside, sipping on iced coffees to keep us going. My shirt is almost soaked through from the heat and June is even sweatier than I am.
Clutching her back she rises to full height, blowing out a deep breath through pursed lips. “I think we’re done for the day. You go and rest, it’s hot out and I know you’ve got a shift you need energy for this afternoon.”
“You sure?” I ask, but really I would love to go home and shower before having to go to Biblio & Brew.
“Yeah, yeah.” She waves me off, “I’ll finish up the weeds later today.”
“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask under the assumption there is something else for me to do. June nods once then collects our dishes, piling them onto a tray. My hands reach out to help on instinct and she swats me away.
Luckily I’ve had late afternoon and closing shifts all week at the cafe and can come here to do tasks for June in the mornings. To be honest, I like having something else to do, since I haven’t seen Celeste lately. I know she’s still at Delaney’s, but each day makes me more anxious to talk with her. I just want to fix things and make it right. But I’ll take June’s and Delaney’s knowledge of Celeste to heart and wait it out. Do it right. They both have said she needs space, and I’ll respect that boundary. June dips her chin in farewell then carries the tray inside.
The walk home is a slow one, and once I make it inside my apartment, I bask in the cold shower’s stream, t-shirt and basketball shorts still on. The water pooling at my feet is muddy from today’s work in the garden. I think back to June’s advice on grand gestures. I guess thegiftpart doesn’t have to be grand, but my effort does. No problem there. I will put in as much effort as possible to show Celeste I’m all in. I sigh as the shower spray beats down on my head, water cascading down my face. I feel empty without her presence. My heart misses her laugh, her smile, the way she’s determined to do everything herself. I rub at my aching chest and when the water finally runs clean after two rounds of shampoo, I shut it off and step out. I pulla towel from the rack beside me, the stupid thing hung way too high for convenience. Swiping the plush fabric over my face then wrapping it around my waist, I glance back at the towel rod, an idea forming in my head. I smile, knowingexactlythe gesture I want to do for Celeste. With fresh determination and a new reason to enjoy Biblio & Brew, I get ready for work.
* * *
The next morning when I get to Celeste’s house, June is not waiting for me outside like I presumed she would be. I expected us to be back at it in the garden, seeing as we had so much to do still after yesterday. Instead, when I walk up to the house, shutting the gate behind me, I see pristine flower beds, neat edges and stunning flowers. I’m impressed at June’s commitment to her garden. I wait on the porch after knocking. A minute goes by and I frown.
We did agree I’d come back today right?
I step back off the porch and look through the front window, and there, June sits on the oversized armchair, reading. I wave a few times before catching her attention. She pulls her glasses off and smiles, waving me in.
“Good morning June, sorry I thought we’d be working on the gardens again. Did you do that all by yourself?” I ask, closing the door behind me and taking off my still muddy shoes from yesterday.
“Yes, well, I felt enough hatred for those weeds that it motivated me to get up early this morning and finish the project myself.” Her triumphant smile is overshadowed by the bags under her eyes and slightly sunken-in cheeks. Looking her over I realize she’s snuggled into a thick housecoat clutching a steaming mug. As if she were cold. Her skin seems a little paler than usual too, despite all the work in the sun we’d doneyesterday. I stand awkwardly in the foyer wondering what to do with myself when she beckons me over, gesturing to sit in the armchair opposite her. I scurry over and lean back into the cushions, a hint of vanilla and strawberry hitting my nose. There’s a pang in my chest at the familiar scent. My stomach drops as I realize this must be where Celeste sits often, playing the endless Scrabble game with her mom.
“What’s got you so worried, Dominic?” June startles me out of my thoughts.
“Nothing. I’m all right,” I say.
“Hm, could have fooled me from those frown lines on your forehead.”
I sigh softly. “Nothing, I’m alright.” I fake a smile. “Is it okay if I make myself a tea?”
